5 Valentine’s Day Cocktails are romantic, sexy, and delicious. Spice up your V-day with some bougie booze and let the love flow. 😉 Everything from prosecco, gin, vodka, to bourbon deliciousness. Impress the one you love, or okay, “like a lot.” 😉
As you may have read from my Vegan Valentine’s Day (Recipes from breakfast to dinner, dessert & cocktail) post (click HERE for link), I typically don’t have the greeeatest V-days, but damn, I always enjoy my flowers (or any plant really) and a good cocktail. I need nothing else!
So, I’ve totally been failing on meeting my 3 weekly posts for about 2 weeks now. Ugh. I have 4 concerts this month, have had fully packed weekends, and am back doing podcast interviews. With work full time, motherhood, and all of my other “ish,” I’ve had a difficult time fitting blogging in, and well, life! 😉 I am truly hoping to take a solo trip this summer… like for 5 days without husband or child. It’s been 4 years since that’s happened and I am most definitely past due! However, I digress, as usual, back to the podcast: One More Sip of Whine: Motherhood in the Raw – do you or someone you know have a great “mommy” topic? Are you funny with a sense of “anything goes?” If so, email me at foodgalleygab@gmail.com! -FGG
PS- Led Zeppelin – my second greatest musical obsession of all time. This song, Robert Plant’s voice, that guitar… Jimmy Page’s suh-weet riff… screams “fuckin’ sexy.” Happy V-day. 😉
Have a great week!
*CLICK ON TITLE OF COCKTAIL TO BRING YOU DIRECTLY TO THE LINK
7 Amazing Vegan Breakfasts! Range from pancakes, to avocado toast, to tofu scrambles, and more. They are all healthy, easy to make, and totally delicious. I chose a variety of my favorite vegan breakfast recipes so you’d have some choices in the mornings. 😉
I love breakfast. Like, totally-fucking-eat-the-shit-outta-breakfast, kinda love. If you are a skipper of the A.M. grub, you’re not having the best day that you can have. Fact. It gives you the energy, the sustenance you need to get your day started off on the right foot.
I know I talk about “the good ole days” a lot on this blog. And, well, that’s because they were! Life before child, marriage, house, real responsibility…?! How can anyone say that those weren’t some daaaamn good ole days?! A different kind of good of course, but it was the freeing kind. Anyway, some of my favorite memories are making breakfast with my best friend April, my roommates… going out for breakfast, usually hungover as shit, for some dope vegetarian/vegan grub, sitting around the table, pounding water and coffee, sprinkled with some mimosa lovin’ afterwards, and recounting the debauchery from the night before. It was like an unspoken contest for who ended up having the craziest or most fucked up night. Now, there was no actual competition. It’s just that we rolled hard, and someone always had a story… or two. 😉 Ahhh… days of old. Thank you, blog, for pouring out these long forgotten memories. 😉
If you make one or more of these recipes, please leave a comment and a pic of your creation! If you changed things up, let me know! Adios! -FGG
PS- Let’s bring the party back… old school… 😉 Listen below:
*CLICK ON THE RECIPE TITLE TO BRING YOU DIRECTLY TO THE LINK!
Okay, so this is a chapter from my book, “Crazy China Sh**.” Click HERE for a link to the book on Amazon. Driving around this city by motorbike, taxi, tuk-tuk, rickshaw, bicycle, or shit! Even your feet! Was a crazy experience… especially when you first arrive. I was an expat who taught at an international school for 5 years in Beijing. The chapter below will give you a direct lens into the insanity of transportation in this city… along with some humor, of course. 😉 Enjoy! Happy Friday!
PS- I chose the video below for a few reasons. One, because I first heard it last week on the opening scene for Bosch, season 3. I instantly googled it and fell in love. I looked for sheet music online but alas, nada. So, now I’m going to have to learn it by ear. Ugh. The song is titled, “Going Home.” China was my home for 5 years. As more time passes (I’ve been back in the US for 2 1/2 years now), I miss it more and more. I came back to OR because I loved it here when I lived in Portland from 2006-2009. It was the only place that ever felt like a real home. Trying to make roots now… this can be hard for someone like me. 😉 Anyway, enjoy this incredibly beautiful tune.
PPS- Sorry! Since Nimbus themes has updated my Foodblogger Pro theme, it has totally screwed up WordPress. I can barely scroll, can’t add media (have to do it manually), the blocks are absurd, and cannot insert a “read more” tag, which is what I was wanting to do here. If you are looking for a theme for your blog, steer very clear of Foodblogger Pro. It was great, and now, it blows. I’ll be changing my theme very soon. A facelift for the blog! 😉
Chapter 6
The Ol’ R9 & Other Forms of Transport
Right, so if you’re a Beijing expat, you already understand where exactly this is going. At first, I thought to myself, “Awesome! You totally get to ride a motorbike and look super f’ing sweet whilst doin’ it!” My inner badass biker, or for some, chic and cool European, self came flooding out. Now this is already after the fact that I quickly—very, very quickly—came to realize that taxis were and are a waking nightmare. My favorite thing is when people insist they never get picked up because they’re a foreigner. Honestly, ninety-nine percent of the time, I’d call bullshit on that. This chapter, summed up in a polite sentence, would ring out: “Taxis, tuk-tuks, bikes, OH MY!”
There were so many times when the taxi driver would ask you where you’re going, and then tell you, “No,” in Chinese, of course (reminder: taxi drivers, store clerks, and most people here do not speak a lick of English… a lick…). Why, you ask? Well, because they’re not going that way. I was not under the impression that taxi drivers had “a way” they were going. In Beijing, apparently they do. The first time I got in a taxi here, I thought I was going to die. Where was the seat belt? Why were we going so unbelievably fast and weaving in and out of traffic (on the highways, during the times it wasn’t a parking lot). Why is the taxi driver almost falling asleep? (One time, I got out because he pretty much did, in the middle of an intersection.) Why, oh why is this stench so horrid that hanging my head out of the window like a dog is the only recourse? Not every taxi stinks, but, oh Lord, so very many do! I am also extremely sensitive to smell. Once, my husband, who literally can’t smell shit, said, “I gotta get out of this taxi… now. I’ve really got to get out. I’m going be sick.” If you knew him, you’d know that actually meant something.
To be fair, the taxi drivers in Beijing are grossly underpaid and overworked. Their hours are horrifying (hence why so many look like they’re going to pass out… they are!). I’ve seen so many drivers sleeping with their feet out the window on the side of the road. I always think to myself, “Man, that sucks!” I’ve had some pretty funny and entertaining taxi rides as well. Some amazing folk drive around here, for sure! For me, they’ve helped create a culture that I consider to be Beijing.
Tuk-tuk? What the heck is that? It is what looks like a box of metal placed on top of motor bike, with fumes that could choke the life out of your brain cells; crumble in a crash, leading to a horrendous death; and try to extort you on a foreign price for a ride. But damn, I love them! They are the quickest, and often the most efficient, way to get around Beijing, as long as you’re not going too far. However, when I was pregnant, I made a very conscious effort not to take them because of the crazy-ass fumes. Again, there were no seat belts, sometimes no door on one side, or a broken door, and a seat cushion that isn’t attached and often has you sliding around. In my opinion, it’s really only comfortable for one person. They’re wildly unsafe and also illegal (the government sometimes has a week or two where they crack down on them), but they’re super stinkin’ handy in a jam, especially if you’re waiting at night in Sanlitun for a taxi ride. Oy vey! Good luck! There are also rickshaws (like a carriage but pulled by a very weak bicycle with a motor), but you really can’t be going very far, and they are only around in very populated areas such as Sanlitun.
Oh, our good ol’ R9’s! For those of you who are reading this and are not a fellow Beijing expat, let me explain. The R9 is the most popular of motor bikes that expats typically drive. There is also this other super cool lookin’ one that people drive, but it is nameless. Anyway, the issue with the R9 is that it is gas operated. Why is this an issue, you ask? Well at first, it wasn’t, not at all when we arrived in 2011. However, since the government has cracked down on illegal bikes, it most definitely is an issue. All of a sudden, two out of three gas stations would turn us down for gas. You needed to have a bike license. Then the expat response was to go and buy a fake license. This worked six out of every ten times until it simply almost never worked. This is when my hubby and many others discontinued their sweet, badass ride. Many lovely issues occurred, being a fine owner of an R9. The throttle would get stuck while driving, the engine would stop running, or as my friend put it, “sound like he rode to school with little mice in the engine,” and a variety of other super unsafe issues.
My ultimate favorite incident happened back in 2012. Our very good friend (J), decided to lighten the day with a ridiculously humorous email regarding the good ol’ R9. Below are the delightful email transactions that made my afternoon.
Dear Sir/Madam,
I have been in possession of an R9 for a month now. It is still sweeping through the streets of Beijing like a Chinese Ducati. I believe this qualifies it for inclusion in your top ten of longest running R9s. It has an amazing 433 kms on the clock. Unfortunately, I have hit a problem.
To judge by the noise coming from the rear of my fine craft, a small family of field mice have taken up residence in the rear wheel arch. The only way to silence them, for about half a kilometre at best, is to slam over a speed hump or pothole as fast as one’s bollocks can stand.
I wondered if this was a common fault on the R9 and if there is a known solution. I am thinking of introducing a large cat, preferably from a family of distinguished “ratters,” to the rear half of the bike in the hope that this solves the problem.
Best regards,
J
I believe that you should find a cat that is specifically not “distinguished” LOL. I think you’ve really stuck it to Ducati this morning as well. They’ll be reeling over this comparison all morning… not very nice, J. 😉
-H
I must say that some of the cats I’ve seen around Beijing look the furthest thing from distinguished.
-T
Is it sad to say that this ridiculous yet funny conversation is most likely going to be the highlight of my workday?
-H
I’ve missed these sorts of emails and conversations since we’ve left. We actually had one between the three of us the day I wrote this. I’ve made some pretty good friends here and certainly have had some more than entertaining moments—many of them on the ol’ R9.
I, myself, wanted a bike as well. A few months after Thomas purchased his, I went and got the bike that I deemed to be the coolest, cutest, most badass, most functional bike for myself. A Vespa. Haha. I kid, I kid, not a real Vespa, a Chinese fake Vespa, of course! Betty (my buttercup yellow “Vespa”) cost me a pretty penny. I kid, I kid, yet again. The bitch was dirt cheap. She ran me about USD 350. I love her, and I’ve missed her dearly since I left. Every time I hop on to get to work, I lose another piece of her. She’s been falling apart at the seams forever but is still totally kickin’ it. “Yes she can!” Tribe Called Quest reference (for you cool folk). And she does (insert wink here). Anyway, she is an electric bike, so I have no issues with gas or the cops, only distance. One of the best moments that Betty and I have shared together was when I was driving to work, and I noticed my throttle stopped working. No worries, it started again. “Wait, it stopped again while crossing the intersection at Yaojayuan. Oh shit. Going to brake. Wait, what? My left brake is now working as my throttle when engaged? Holy shit! Is this amazing or terrifying? Oh well, I can get to work at least.” This is the inner dialogue that became so stupidly normal but should not have been even remotely okay. Yes, I finally got it fixed.
These are the batshit crazy and totally insane ways we got around here. No one even bats that batshit crazy eye anymore. I can’t remember the last time I got into a taxi and thought to myself, “Shit, he’s going fast, too fast,” or, “Shit, he’s totally going to hit that car/person/tuk-tuk. Wait, brake, brake, BRAKE!” or, “Shit, we’re weaving, weaving too fast. This is crazy! I’m going to die! And in fucking Beijing!” Yeah, those thoughts and feelings were abolished from my body and brain approximately one month after my arrival. May we all be safe another day…
Vegan Valentine’s Day (Recipes from breakfast to dinner, dessert & cocktail) literally will take you from breakfast, appetizer, lunch, dinner, and dessert, to cocktails. Wine and dine your “lova” or fuck, do it just for you! Love thyself. 😉
I actually don’t think that I’ve ever done anything grand on V-day. Either that, or I just drank too much wine and forgot. ;0 I DO remember one year in college when I was single. A bunch of my friends & roommates were theatre majors and they were performing The Vagina Monologues for Valentine’s Day. I had never seen or heard of it before and it was awesome! Honestly, I don’t think I remember anymore. My dad and my step-dad used to send flowers to my college and my grandma Rugile would mail homemade cookies, but other than that… no real memories. Oh yeah, except for the time in HS when my parents thought it was a good idea to have a meeting with all of my teachers in my counselors office about why I was such a shithead who didn’t give a fuck about school. Everyone attacked me and I ended up crying in my favorite pink shirt (pretty sure that’s the only reason I remember this taking place on V-day) in the women’s staff bathroom whilst one of my teachers came into apologize. Aahhh… good ole HS days. JK. I more or less hated it. Oh yeah, one more memory, V-day cards in elementary school from all of your classmates. TJ Malone (RIP) sent me one saying I was “cool and pretty,” so I almost died into a sea of heavenly hearts. 😉 Okay, I lied, I totally remember oooonnne more, it was my first V-day in Beijing and I met Thomas in Sanlitun for dinner and drinks. I was shocked to arrive and see he had a card and a bottle of gin. I thought he was too immature to do that. LOL. Anyway, got drunk and left the btl in a taxi. Haha. That about sums up my Valentine’s Day memories! Enjoy the menu. Let me know your thoughts and please add to the menu with your fabulous ideas in the comments. -FGG
PS- The song below is the most ridiculously awesome and haunting song about unrequited love ever written. Well, in my humble opinion anyway. 😉 I read somewhere that they called it “ear porn.” LOL. And, Helena Christensen? Way to make it the sexiest song ever, too! Happy hump day, peeps. 😉
*CLICK ON THE TITLE OF THE RECIPE TO BRING YOU DIRECTLY TO THE LINK!
Breakfast: Vegan Chocolate Crepes w/ PB & Coconut Whipped Cream
Appetizer: Beet Hummus with Mint
Lunch: Green Goddess Cheesy Quesadilla (replace the real mozzarella with vegan mozz -I love both Miyoko’s & Follow Your Heart’s vegan mozzarellas)
Dinner: Creamy Rigatoni with Lentils & Fresh Oregano – Vegan!
Dessert: Vegan Valentine’s Day Cake!
Cocktails: The Sexiest Blackberry Syrup Ever!
OR
I can’t wait until I can shoot all of my photos in natural light! Every time I look at the photos I shoot at night (most of them) and the ones I get to shoot during the day the difference is tremendous! As of now, I get home around 4:30-5:00 Monday-Friday and it just isn’t possible. On the weekends, I try to shoot between 9:30-11:30 (ish) but I don’t always have the time. I enjoy spending as much of my day with Greyson (the love bug of my life who just turned one!) as possible so this does not always pan out. Thanks to Sally’s Baking Addition’s advice & Pinch of Yum’s awesome beginning food photography e-book (and literally anyone advising you on the matters of food photography) you should one, never shoot with your flash, and two, always shoot in natural light. This could not be more true! However, the latter simply is something I am trying my hardest to find time to do more of. I’m literally going to start bringing my food into work and shooting during my lunch hour! Lastly, I desperately wanted to get this blog off the ground so I’ve decided to use some photographs that were taken with my iPhone many moons ago. Many of theses photos use cool filters through the Hipstomatic app (filters- another food photography no-no) and before I knew virtually anything about the subject of food photography in general. I think some are kinda cool, but just know everything that I have shot from this blog’s existence forward has been done and will be done with my new Canon T6i and almost always with my fixed 50mm lens (again, highly recommended by all food photographers).
Do you want to use my picture and/or recipe? Awesome! Very thrilled for you to share. However, please do not use my photo if you are recreating the recipe. Please change the recipe a bit and use your own words and your own picture with an “adapted by” and link to my recipe and photo. If you want to simply share my recipe and photo please do so with a link back to my recipe/photo. Many thanks in advance for respecting this. And hey, thanks for sharing!
Have a great day!
Heather
Okay, after the 1000 million hours it took me to write this freakin’ post (well worth it), I present to you the following awesomeness!
My 20 Favorite Portland Vegan Dining Spots! Is just that. Whether you’re a vegan or a vegetarian, even a meat-eater at times, these are my most FAVORITE places to have brunch, breakfast, lunch, dinner, bagels, pizza, and more! Are there other awesome places for vegans to go in P-town? Hell yeah! However, for the purpose of this post, I kept it to my top 20 favorite vegan spots in Portland. I LOVE being a vegan in this amazing city! Honestly, I don’t know if there’s a better place to be for those who eat a meat-free diet. Love it! If you are a Portlander and you want to add to this list, please do so in the comment section.
PS- I LOVE the Beach Boys! This song always cracked me up. On another note, I have a tape cassette of my sister, her old best friend & our neighbor, plus myself recording ourselves singing “Kokomo,” because we were OBSESSED with that song when I was 8 or 9 years old.
*Click on the name of the restaurant to bring you directly to their link!
*FEATURED IMAGE/PHOTO BY, Miika Laaksonen on Unsplash
Okay, it’s finally official! The first 3 episodes of my podcast, “One More Sip of Whine: Motherhood in the Raw,” are now available! Currently, my podcasts are available on Libsyn. Click HERE to bring you directly to the podcasts! Soon, they will also be available on iTunes, Google Play, and Stitcher! There are descriptions for each episode. My bilingual etc episode is my first one ever! Followed by druggies etc, and finally, fix or fuck etc. A variety of both educational and emotional, but always entertaining and funny! Let me know your thoughts! I’ll always take ideas and opinions, as they’ll be loads of growth throughout this podcasting journey. Ahhh!!! So exciting! -FGG
I’m back! Totally fell off the map with my Friday and Sunday posts. I am in the middle of concert season right now and have 4 concerts in the next 4 weeks. Lastly, I fffiiiiinallly decided to focus solely on my podcast this past Sunday. And, drum roll please… they are ffiiiiiinally done! Loads of re-recording the intro and outro songs that I wrote, editing in Audacity, and then, the worst moment of all… 3 straight hours where all of my files/recordings – all 3 of my episodes and both songs, gone. Gone as in, no where to be found. I was in a state of complete and utter panic! Anyway, it was all resolved (phewwwww). I spent 11 fucking hours on Sunday on this shit. However, it was 11 fucking hours well spent. My podcast, “One More Sip of Whine: Motherhood in the Raw,” will be available on all major platforms in the next few days – weeks! It is all out of my hands now. So exciting! I’ll be writing a huge post about it when they’re fully released. Stay tuned!
Vegan Chocolate Crepes w/ PB & Coconut Whipped Cream is another Instagram inspired recipe. I see crepes like this allll the time on Insta and I finally felt like I had to give it a go! So, I did. And, they were awesome. It literally took about 15 minutes from start to finish to make these. Fucking perfect! I originally just made coconut whipped cream, however, I was not really diggin’ it, and I knew I was going to drizzle peanut butter over the crepes anyway, sooo I added PB to the whipped, and then it was super delish. There’s a nice run-on sentence for you. 😉 Obviously, strawberries and bananas are the perfect fruits for both chocolate and peanut butter – so that’s what I used. The red sprinkles, vegan chocolate chips, and coconut shreds were just taking the crepes from gold to platinum. Plus, it looked purdy, and I love me some purdy lookin’ food. Stay tuned for my Friday gab post. If you’re a Portlander or someone who may one day visit P-town (which you totally should – incredible city, incredible people, incredible state, all within the incredible PNW), this will be the post for you. A list with links and descriptions to my top 20 favorite vegan places to get grub. Until then! -FGG
PS- I chose this tune because I listen to Norah Jones every Saturday and Sunday morning when I cook. It is soooo relaxing.
Vegan Chocolate Crepes w/ PB & Coconut Whipped Cream
Ingredients for crepes:
1 C flour of your choice (spelt, garbanzo, all-purpose…)
1/4 C cacao powder – unsweetened (I have done it with chocolate protein powder! Great for post-workout but not quite as good)
6 oz sparkling water or non-dairy milk (I used almond milk)
1 egg replacement (I used Follow Your Heart)
1/4 C of some sort of sugar (coconut, agave, maple – I used maple)
1-2 tsp vanilla extract
1/4 tsp salt (I used Himalayan)
Ingredients & directions for whipped cream:
1 can of coconut milk, preferable full fat, that has been left in the refrigerator overnight
Creamy Peanut Butter to taste (I used about 1/4 C)
1-2 Tbl of sweetener (cane sugar, agave, maple, coconut)
1 tsp vanilla (optional)
Directions:
Scoop out the solidified coconut – do not use the liquid, coconut water
Whip all of the ingredients together until it is fluffy (I used my electric mixer)
Chocolate Crepe Directions:
Blend all of the ingredients together (I used my Vitamix) – Batter should be thin
Heat your griddle or pan with spray or coconut oil
Pour the batter to make a large and thin circle
Cook the crepes for about 1-2 minutes on each side – the batter should start to bubble on top
The crepes MUST cool before you add the whipped cream inside
Optional:
I topped mine with drizzled peanut butter, and then strawberries, bananas, red sprinkles, vegan chocolate chips, and shredded coconut
Pair with:
Colombian coffee (perfect pairing for these crepes)
Colombian coffee with Kahlua (my first choice) or Frangelico
Black Bean Mango “Salsa” Dip is a dip that my friend April taught me how to make many moons ago. Usually, we were making it together, getting drunk on mojitos, and at some point graduating to sangria, ready to entertain a slew of peeps. Ahhh… the good old days. When we were all single (well, not married), childless, responsibility-free, and career-less. Drink, eat, play, drink, eat, play… all whilst lookin’ & feelin’ dope, and livin’ it up carefree. My liver (and probably my mind) is still in recovery. 😉 Over those 4 years in Oregon, I could write a trilogy – filled with stories that were scandalous, adventurous, dangerous, disastrous, fabulous, and utterly ridiculous. I’d wager that in my 37 years on this planet, I’ve done far more insane things than 90% of the population. Youth. I made it out alive. Sometimes, I’m amazed by that fact. 😉
Anyway, back to the Black Bean Mango “Salsa” Dip. So healthy, delicious, and it’s done in 5 minutes. I usually serve it during the summer when it’s warm, however, I also bust it out for soirees throughout the year to change it up from the “classic” appetizers. I had made this for a party at my madre’s house last summer and that is where the pic is from. I’ve been crazy busy this past week now that I’m back at work, so I was digging around in the archives for a food post. Voila! Enjoy!
This song always sounds like a scandal to me… and, I fucking love it. Lastly, I kinda fucking love her, too. 😉
Black Bean Mango “Salsa” Dip
Ingredients:
2 cans black beans – drained
2 cloves garlic – minced
2-3 green onions – diced
1/2 red bell pepper – diced
1/2 orange bell pepper – diced
1 C cilantro – loosely chopped
1 medium-large ripe mango – diced
1/4 C lime juice
Salt to taste (be sure to use enough to bring out the flavors)
Directions:
In a large bowl, mix the black beans, garlic, salt, and lime juice together
Add the rest of the ingredients and mix well
Done!
Pair with:
Frozen mango margarita, margarita on the rocks, corona & lime
Notes:
I serve this with tortilla chips. You can sub the mango for pineapple. I love that as well, just not quite as much as I love it with mango.
https://foodgalleygab.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/IMG_2606.m4v
LINK ABOVE: A VIDEO OF THE JOHN DEERE TRACTOR (KIDS VERSION, WE’RE NOT THAT CRAZY!) THAT THEY ALL RODE ALLLLLL THE TIME…
Peanut Butter Banana Crunch Oatmeal was inspired by the thousands of delicious looking breakfast bowls I see on Instagram daily. Now that I’m on a crazy new lifestyle kick to be fit and gloriously svelte, I’ve come up with tons of breakfast ideas that are easy, healthy, and anything but boring. Also, total side note, I’ve decided to join Beach Body. Today was my first 5:30 AM workout in AGES and it felt fucking great. Breakfast is the key to my day. If I skip it, don’t have enough time in the morning, feel rushed etc, that’s the foundation for a shitty day – no doubt. The Peanut Butter Banana Crunch Oatmeal is packed with apple, banana, granola, maple, peanut butter, flax & chia. SOOO good!
This weekend I played around with making various breakfast bowls. I threw in a pic at the bottom of a similar breakfast with a soy coconut yogurt base. Was equally as delish. Yesterday, I went to my friend Angella’s house. I’m pretty sure we’re the best chatting companions ever – which is fab. Anyway, she’s a Beach Body guru and she was showing me her crazy ways and all of the workouts, plans etc that are available. Honestly, amazing. Anyway, like I’ve said in a recent post, I haven’t spoken about my gain before that. It’s incredibly intense for me. When Angella and I were talking about it yesterday and I was sharing how it has impacted my life, out loud, it was crazy emotional for me. Genuinely held back tears. I was telling her how I went home for 3 weeks (to LI, NY) over the summer and was a total recluse. I didn’t see anyone except a few best friends. Why? Because I felt like a fat fuck, and was TOTALLY mortified to step out into my small town where too many people from my upbringing still reside. “What if they see me?” “How can I avoid this?” These were the primary thoughts running round my brain for 3 straight weeks. So, I drank my woes away and undoubtedly packed on some more lbs. After the summer, I switched some meds and shed 14lbs. “Phew!” I thought. And then, nothing since. I feel incredibly motivated right now. I honestly think it’ll stick because I can’t take it anymore. I desperately miss my beautiful wardrobe, stamina, and feeling sexy. and the fact that I am now totally aware that I don’t do nearly as much as I’ve been stuck inside for a year, due to anxiety of stepping outside and “being seen.” Strangers, anyone… doesn’t matter. I’ve always felt some semblance of being attractive until now. Soooo… fuck it! Onwards and upwards! Okay, I know I said I wouldn’t be bitching and dwelling in all of my posts so this’ll be the last bitchfest! I’ll share brief updates of my successes/failures etc but other than that, I wanna get back to my more humorous posts with funny stories. You’re welcome. 😉 XO
Okay, enjoy the Peanut Butter Banana Crunch Oatmeal and puh-lease let me know your thoughts! Did you make it the same way? Did you add something and make it better? Tell me! 😉 -FGG
PS – Adding some vanilla to this could be pretty dope, too!
PPS- So, I always share my favorite tunes. Loads of different styles of music. However, I’m classical nut. I’m also a classical pianist, or at least used to be. 😉 I majored in this in college (my bachelor’s). Chopin is my ultimate favorite and I LOVE playing just about anything he’s ever composed for solo piano. I’m sure most of you aren’t crazy about classical but I am sharing this piece this week because: 1 – It’s awesome. 2 – It is often called “Waves” or “The Ocean.” I feel like it totally fits my struggle this past year and my journey into the new year. 3 – I’m going to attempt to finally learn it this next month.
Peanut Butter Banana Crunch Oatmeal (Serves 2)
Ingredients:
1 C cooked oats
1 banana – sliced
1/2 apple – diced
1/2 C granola (I used two – vanilla and honey)
3 Tbl peanut butter
2 tsp chia seeds
1 Tbl flax seeds OR 3 tsp ground flax
1/2 tsp cinnamon (optional)
4 Tbl maple syrup
2 capfuls of vanilla extract (optional)
Instructions:
Mix the maple syrup into the oatmeal (and vanilla extract if using)
Divide all the ingredients to make 2 bowls
On top of the oatmeal add the rest of the ingredients anyway you’d like. I usually prepare it like the pictures above. Enjoy!
Okay, this is my Friday post. A day late. Back at the doctor’s yesterday for the aftermath of this strep saga (insert gigantic sigh here). They finally gave me drugs, like real ones. I was basically ODing on Acetaminophen and that still wasn’t working. Welcome to opioids my friends. I am aware of the crazy crisis in this country, and it is personal to me, as a member of my extended family has had his life virtually ruined by them. However, a time and a place for everything, right? And, to my doctors’ credit (I’ve seen a few), it wasn’t until the 3rd visit that they prescribed me some, and quite a mild one I might add. Alas, I can now speak and swallow without wishing for death (I have a license in dramatics, just ask anyone who knows me). Hence the day late post.
Below is the introduction to my book, “Crazy China Sh**.” If you are interested in a humorous, foul-mouthed, and totally raw & real view of life as an expat in Beijing, China, check out this intro, and the other chapters I’ve released in this blog. Also, for a more extensive inside look into the book, check it out on Amazon here. It is available as an e-reader only (you can purchase and read with or without a Kindle), and will, one day, hopefully soon, though Lord knows with my list and the prioritizing I have to do, be available in print. My other book, “One More Sip of Whine,” is available here in print and as an e-reader. Check ’em out and please leave me a review on Amazon if you read either of them! -FGG
Red Alert
Expat Exposes All
“Crazy China Sh**”
(“Do you tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth so help you God?” “I do.” True stories sans embellishments.)
Prologue
The Beijing world around us seems to be impenetrable to some people here. Nothing chips away at the natives’ thick skin. Perhaps it’s because these things would first have to chip through the enormously thick layers of smog. Yes, I went there. It’s too easy not to. You should expect me to “go there” many more times, too. I mean, shit. How could one write a book about Beijing and not reference the smog at least a few times. There are many of us out there who have become quite penetrable by the Beijing-ness surrounding us, and it starts to build, waver, and pile up until someone finally yells “Topple!”
Everyone’s reality is a bit different. Honestly, I think I know some pretty deluded fucks but never the less, and to those not particularly deluded, our perceptions of the things we experience daily are weighted differently. I somewhat envy those fucks. Anyway, since perception is reality some may think my story untrue (ehem-ehem, the deluded ones) or hyped for a good read. However, this is my take on it all. Are there so many awesome things I’ve done and seen here? For sure! I am not negating that. My purpose in writing this though is to finally be able to tell my closest peeps about the nitty gritty, the ins and outs, of being an expat in Beijing. The funny, absurd, frustrating, and batshit crazy moments that I never wanted to harp on when speaking to you all.
If one more person asks me about what my life was like there, I’m going to start wearing a sandwich board with bulleted points. When you see your friends and family, or when you actually get to speak to them, the last thing you want to do is complain about all of the “ish” around you. You tell the shiny, nice, and pretty stories. Otherwise, you’re the Debbie Downer. You’re that person, who is always complaining and appears too negative. Then again, if you do not communicate with these people on a regular basis, it would only be natural to have some crappier stories wrapped up with the shinier ones. Alas, people just don’t see it this way. You’re like reading the New York Times, The Daily News, or The Post (all depending on the type of person you are, of course). The result is similar: mostly disheartening and sometimes just ridiculous. Now if we could be like The Onion, I guess we’d all be a bit funnier and cooler. But I’m just not that funny or cool. Have you ever seen a unicorn climb over a rainbow, slide down, land in a pot of gold, and ride away with her leprechaun? No? Hmmm… What about the dog that ate your homework only after having helped you with it? Really? No? Lastly, have you ever seen a pig fly? I mean a p-i-g with its snout and all, fly with it’s pretty, little, pink pig wings high above your head. (Okay, I couldn’t resist the classic ‘pig fly’ line). Well, as rid-onc-ulous as the above mentioned may be, I can tell you that I would be apt to believe almost any of them after living here. Why? Because the unbelievable has proven believable in many a series of crazy circumstances that I’ve encountered over the past five years. (Yes, not four, not two, but a half of a decade – sounds crazier that way, right?)
Before we begin, I shall leave you with this:
“I pledge allegiance to the – “ no, that ‘s not correct.
“You have the right to remain – ” nope, that’s not it either.
“Truth?! You can’t handle the – ” Hmm… not there yet. Oh yes!
“Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you God?”
“I do.”
Oh good, that’s it. Okay, enough with the patriotic points, legal rights, and Hollywood-isms. And yes, in this book, “I do.”
https://foodgalleygab.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/IMG_3820.m4v
*A short video of my books! (Link above)
Welcome back from the winter break! Since I’m a music teacher, I’m technically still on break until next Monday. I was in Cali with the fam for xmas and now that I’m back and have free time, I’m sitting in bed with the WORST case of strep throat and a mega bad ear infection ever. I’ve literally never felt pain like that before. Gimme labor, 2 broken wrists again… nothing felt worse than this shit did two days ago. So crazy! In some twisted way, I’ve been thinking about how incredibly ill I’ve been this past year for about a month now. I feel this is a sign, albeit a brutal sign, that is here to tell me to not just think about how sick I’ve been, but to totally do something about it. Up until I was 30, I virtually never got sick at all. I’ve been abusing my body for too long. Thankfully, I eat well, but we can always do better, right? Lastly, it’s been the first year of my life that I’ve never exercised, and I’ve experienced serious weight gain due to new meds and of course, diet and lack of exercise. I had zero plans on making a New Year’s resolution. I had been thinking of the huge shifts I need to start implementing into my life. Big, big, changes… on ALL fronts of my life. Getting this insanely ill (again) was the last fucking straw for me. This is the twisted way in which I’m totally sold on starting anew. Yeah, so it happens to align itself beautifully with the new year, however, simply a case of coincidence. I’ll take it though. I feel incredibly motivated, especially after the last two back-to-back bouts of “sick.” Okay, thanks for listening to me vent! If you’re on a similar track to mine, join me on my updates and chime in with your own! Promise, I won’t be bitching regularly. 😉
5 Bomb Hummus Recipes! Are all crazy delicious, healthy, and easy. So easy that they’re done in 5 minutes. If I randomly have people over, it’s always a go-to for me to make. Every party I have, I serve at least one hummus, if not, two. Everyone likes them, they’re easy, and again, they’re easy. I value my time. 😉 I use hummus not only as an appetizer but on sandwiches (all the time, one of G-dog’s faves), on salads, and even in a pasta sauce or as a pasta sauce. SO GOOD! … And on that note, enjoy! Happy New Year! -FGG
All this talk of sauce, and the fact that it’s been stuck in my head for almost 2 months now, I bring you:
*CLICK ON THE RECIPE TO BRING YOU DIRECTLY TO THE LINK!
Spicy Roasted Red Pepper Hummus
Artichoke Balsamic & Basil Hummus – Sub parm for vegan parm. I LOVE Go Veggie’s! Vegan Parm!
“Beijing issues red alerts when pollutants are forecast to push the air-quality index higher than 200 for at least four days, above 300 for two or more days or higher than 500 for 24 hours.” -CNN
Find the CNN article here. What that means is that schools, factories etc must shut down until the air clears.
Red Alert (A parody of Adele’s “Hello”) is something I wrote when I was still living in Beijing, China. The song had just been released, and I had these ridiculous lines about the Beijing smog that I had conjured up in my mind. So, I realized I needed to write them down. I have no idea how I decided to turn it into a parody of Adele’s “Hello,” but I did! And thus the birth of Red Alert. For those of you who aren’t familiar with China’s air, it is a very real problem. Beijing and other major cities are particularly effected by it. Everyday, I didn’t check the weather, I checked the AQI (air quality index) provided by the American Embassy. If it was over 200, as it often was, I wore a mask outside, and the children at my international school were not allowed to play outdoors. By the time I left Beijing, I had quite the collection of masks. Obviously, I had to turn them into a fashion accessory, duh! Our homes (expats) all had air purifiers in every room, as did the international schools. Sometimes, the sky was yellow in color, and there is NO mistaking the smell of bad pollution. It had an impact on my health as well. I think the highest I ever saw the AQI climb was 700+ (when the scale went that high). So fucking nuts!
I wrote an article about my exiting Beijing if you’re interested in more info. Click here to bring you directly to the link. Also, I wrote a very candid, raw, hopefully humorous, and foul-mouthed book about the difficulties I faced whilst living there. Of course I loved the shit out of it, however, there were SO MANY ridiculous and challenging aspects of life as an expat in Beijing, that I felt compelled to write a book about it! So I did. It is called, “Crazy China Shit.” Click here for the Amazon link. It will be available in paperback soon, too.
PS- Duh! Of course this is the video for this post! 😉
Red Alert Means Nothin’ Here (A parody of Adele’s “Hello”)
Hello, it’s me
I was hopin’ for some clean air
that I could use to breathe
For my lungs,
oh please
If you could rain and blow the wind
We’d really like the breeze
Expat friends, can ya hear me?
I’m in my mask dreamin’ of the days when I could see
The buildings out my window, oh please
I’ve forgotten how it felt when the air was fresh and clean
We need pollution gone forever,
or at least for today
Red Alert means nothin’ here!
All it does is instill fear!
My sister, and my mom, text me all the time,
“Oh my God! You Okay? Get outta that grime!”
If the AQI is far too high, six hundred in the freakin’ sky,
Maybe, our school, will close for the day,
stay at home, Facetime friends, and watch Youku in pj’s…
Oh yeah, mm-hmm
Hello, how are you?
It’s so typical of me to want the air so nice and clean
For my breathin’, oh yeah
The students need to leave the room
I need to feel fresh air
And it’s no secret that the both of us
Are running out of time
I know how it really feels,
You smell the air and it reveals,
That the sky is yellow, my lungs are at risk,
The children, stuck inside, and they’re makin’ me sick.
If they don’t get to go outside! I know I’m gonna lose my mind.
They’re cooped up everyday if it’s two hundred or more,
AQI, when can we, open our door?
To breathe clean?
Clean air
To breath clean?
Clean air
To breath clean?
Clean air
To breath clean?
To breath clean
I know from the outside, if the smog is stinkin’ then I’ll cry!
I’m sorry that we are, livin’ this way,
It’s a nightmare, that we, will have to stay.
Please wear your mask so tightly, you do not wanna breathe,
Toxic air that will harm you, you sit there and seethe, yellow smog, you astound me, oh why can’t you leave?
The BEST Vegan Dinner Christmas Menu! Is complete with amazing vegan appetizers (not just traditional appetizers, different and delicious apps that aren’t your holiday standards), soups, salads, entrees (pastas, Wellington, stuffed potatoes, stuffed portobellos), and of course, holiday cocktails (both warm and cold)! I’ve had many a small, medium, and large sized holiday parties at my home. No matter where I’ve been, whether I lived in Oregon, California, New York, China etc, I’m always the first to host a T-day or an xmas soiree… I LOVE entertaining! As long as I have the kitchen to myself (I’d love to be in the house by myself), wine, and music, I am golden for hours upon hours in the kitchen. Anyone else?
Since we’re in the seasonal spirit right now, I shall leave you with MY version (or desires) of The Twelve Days of Christmas.
The Twelve Days of Christmas
by, Heather Rugile
On the 1st day of Christmas my true love gave to me,
a day alone with my SANITY
On the 2nd day of Christmas my true love gave to me,
Two trips to Fiji, and a day alone with my SANITY
On the 3rd day of Christmas my true love gave to me,
Three French men, two trips to Fiji, and a day alone with my SANITY
On the 4th day of Christmas my true love gave to me,
Four thousand dollars, three French men, two trips to Fiji, and a day alone With my SANITY
On the 5th day of Christmas my true love gave to me,
Five days of PEACE, four thousand dollars, three French men, two trips to Fiji, and a day alone With my SANITY
On the 6th day of Christmas my true love gave to me,
Six Brad Pitt’s swimming, five days of PEACE, four thousand dollars, three French men, two trips to Fiji, and a day alone with my SANITY
On the 7th day of Christmas my true love gave to me,
Seven second homes, six Brad Pitt’s swimming, five days of PEACE, four Thousand dollars, three French men, two trips to Fiji, and a day alone with My SANITY
On the 8th day of Christmas my true love gave to me,
Eight maids a-cleanin’, seven second homes, six Brad Pitt’s swimming, five days of PEACE, four thousand dollars, three French men, two trips to Fiji, and a day alone with My SANITY
On the 9th day of Christmas my true love gave to me,
Nine buff bods dancin’, eight maids a-cleanin’, seven second homes, six Brad Pitt’s swimming, five days of PEACE, four thousand dollars, three French men, two trips to Fiji, and a day alone with My SANITY
On the 10th day of Christmas my true love gave to me,
TEN hours sleeping, nine buff bods dancin’, eight maids a-cleanin’, seven second homes, six Brad Pitt’s swimming, five days of PEACE, four thousand dollars, three French men, two trips to Fiji, and a day alone with My SANITY
On the 11th day of Christmas my true love gave to me,
Eleven days no laundry, TEN hours sleeping, nine buff bods dancin’, eight maids a-cleanin’, seven second homes, six Brad Pitt’s swimming, five days of PEACE, four thousand dollars, three French men, two trips to Fiji, and a day alone with My SANITY
On the 12th day of Christmas my true love gave to me,
Twelve flasks of vodka, eleven days no laundry, TEN hours sleeping, nine buff bods dancin’, eight maids a-cleanin’, seven second homes, six Brad Pitt’s swimming, five days of PEACE, four thousand dollars, three French men, two trips to Fiji, and a day alone with My SANITY
PS- Okay, so I totally cannot get enough of the Pentatonix Christmas songs/videos! I know I used their “Little Drummer Boy” in one of last week’s posts, but I feel the need to share this absolutely incredible winter holiday song! A MUST WATCH!
Click the recipes below to bring you directly to the links!
APPETIZERS:
(Use my favorite vegan parmesan! Go Veggie! Parmesan)
(Replace the greek yogurt with vegan mayo. In my opinion, the BEST EVER vegan mayo is Vegenaise! Also, you could sub out seaweed for white miso paste! This is one of my all time favorite dips)!
(Serve them just like the picture with sauce and some toothpicks)!
SOUPS:
SALADS:
(Use vegan parmesan. Again, Go Veggie! Is amazing)!
ENTREES:
COCKTAILS:
Vegan Bowls To-Go! are super delish and make your work week way easier and healthier. I had all these veggies, beans, grains, and basil that I wanted to use before going food shopping – “Waste not!” (FGG’s food mantra) – so I used them for my Sunday food prep. Last week I was crazy unprepared and either didn’t have a lunch, or grabbed something that I otherwise would normally never have eaten. I was so pissed at myself!
I always save glass jars from various sauces etc. I love to recycle them as tupperware or vases. This time I cooked quinoa and orecchiette pasta – that took up 2 burners. On the other 2 burners I was cooking a bunch of veggies and beans in a homemade taco seasoning, and cooking maple flavored brussel sprouts in the other. All 4 burners going at the same time. During that food fiesta, I made a kale pesto with loads of basil from my window basil plant (a must in the cold weather seasons). Click here for one of my kale pesto recipes. I made 5 different Vegan Bowls To-Go in under 30 minutes. Fuck yeah! That’s exactly the kind of ease and simplicity I am looking for… especially when you had a good friend and her daughter stay over last night and drank ’til wee hours of the morn! Let’s just say I’m lagging a little in the lust for motivation department. Yesterday, all 4 of us went to Mississippi Pizza to see an awesome kids band play, eat dope pizzas (yup – they have vegan!), and drink beer. We were having so much fun that we stayed for most of the bluegrass band afterwards. We did the same thing a few weeks back with 2 different bands. Portland is fucking awesome!
Anyway, I’m tired, have to make some more tea, and then finish up my podcast editing so I can fiiiinallllyyyy go live! Enjoy the work week! I’ll be dangling the “Friday is the last day before 2 weeks off ” hallelujah carrot in front of my face all week so I can make it with my sanity still intact. Chow for now! 😉 -FGG
PS – As usual, a fitting song…
These are not going to be direct recipes – I’ll give you the ingredients I used and you can follow that or tweak it to your taste. If not, simply use this post as a good idea for work week grub. 😉
1 – Quinoa with brussel sprouts. I cooked the brussel sprouts in grape seed oil, Himalayan salt, pepper, fresh lemon, and maple syrup (SOOOO good!). I often throw in tempeh but I didn’t have any.
2 – Orecchiette, quinoa, red & yellow peppers, kale, broccoli and black beans. I cooked the beans and veggies in taco seasoning. I put hot sauce on top of the orecchiette. Would be great with a good salsa, too!
3 – Same as above but without orecchiette.
4 – Orecchiette with homemade kale pesto (click in post for pesto recipe) and sun-dried tomatoes.
5 – Orecchiette with kale pesto, vegan meatballs (I love Trader Joe’s!), and small white beans.
Carboholics Anonymous (CA) – Confessions & 12 steps to recovery
1- Hi, my name is Heather, and I’m a carboholic. (Sweet relief! I’ve officially admitted my addiction out loud).
I call my sponsor daily with my insatiable cravings to dive mouth first into the nearest loaf of bread I can find.
2- God? Shit! I’m an atheist.
Okay, I can do this. I believe that Mother Nature doesn’t want me to have fat thighs and a bloated belly. I’ll serve you, dearest Mother.
3- Fuck. God, again? Not knockin’ it, but how does this work for me? Okay, back to Mother Nature.
I believe that you have the power to heal me of my sinful carb cravings. I am in control of what I shovel into my carb-loving grill. Dearest Mother, give me the strength to beat a bagel, tear up my toast, and punch a pasta in the fucking face! Yummm pasta, I mean, uuuuhhh, shit! That’ll give you an extra dimple and a thick thigh! Die, pasta, die!
4- Resentment!
I resent being raised on Italian food. Pasta, pasta, PASTA! All with bread and some watery zucchini for greens. Mom, I resent you for creating and enabling my addiction. I am now triggered every time I smell bread in the oven, pasta boiling on the stove, and rice in the cooker, all wafting directly into my carb-loving nose! I feel ashamed that I ate mykid’s pizza, I mean like shoveled it, machine-mouth style, with a case of the mega munchies. I told him his dad ate it. Bread! I want you SO badly! You’re such a tease! A wicked witchy woman! You’ve put your spell on me, and I can’t resist your scent, your warmth, your taste! Damn it! You’re such a bitch! But, I drool when in your beautiful presence.
5- I confess! There! I said it.
Okay, carbs not only taste guh-reat (writing this isn’t helping the cravings at all by the way) but they’re my comfort, my “safe space.” I could wrap myself up on a bed with a blanket of warm bread and feel like the angels above were showering me with safety and love. Then, I’d eat it all and, “Oh, the guilt! I’ve lost my comfort and caved into my craving! Sourdough, my dearest, sponsor! I need you – now!”
6- I’ll change! I’ll face my imperfections and shameful behaviors that led me down this wicked path to pasta and all things carb!
When I have 3 cocktails, I stick my head in the fridge and into a Tupperware of pasta. Think, “A Christmas Story.” Randy, his mom, “show me how the little piggies eat.” Yup. No words necessary. When “Aunt Flow” comes to town, I survive on homemade mac ’n’ cheese for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. For dessert? Yup! You guessed it! More mac ’n’ cheese. When I get in a fight with my husband, I envision myself whacking him, beating him, repeatedly on the head with a long, large loaf of almost stale French bread. When I’m done, to get rid of the evidence, the prints and weapon, I throw that bitch in the microwave and shove it down my throat leaving no crumb behind.
7- “Motherest” of all mothers in all the lands, moons, and solar systems above:
Dear Mother Nature, I ask of you to remove, erase, totally wipe out (like the fiercest of surfs), and release holy hell upon my addiction, my unhinged behavior, my unhealthy union with my biggest of loves — carbs. I surrender myself to you!
How arrogant I was to think that carbs would love me back as much as I had loved them! I gave them all of me, and in turn, for what? For tree trunks that walk, tires for my once svelte stomach, and an unhealthy, unforgiving, obsessive relationship.
8- Those I’ve harmed, hindered, and hated because my addiction got the best of me:
Little dude, every person I’ve ever dated (we’ll sum it up like that), my thighs, my parents.
9- Please, oh pretty, pretty, please! Forgive me!
To little dude: Sorry for face diving your pizza. To every person I ever dated: Sorry for the tweakin’ out, bitchin’ out, freakin’ out moments when I was jonesin’ — hard. I just needed a taste, a teeny, tiny little taste! To my thighs: Oh babes, I had you in tip-top shape. I am SOOO sorry for your slide into the depths of true chunkiness. Also, because I know how badly you want to be reunited with the beautiful, sexy, skinny ladies in the wardrobe upstairs. They’re missin’ you like crazy. To my parents: I apologize for all of the pasta, bread, and cans of beans I stole from your pantry when I was living in the city and was totally poor. I came home to raid. Once, I ate pasta with ranch dressing while sitting on the bathtub in the kitchen of my Manhattan apartment. All because I had no money and needed the comfort of my old friend, Spaghetti.
10- Maybe you’re right, maybe I’m right, but it’s allll good.
I might envision bombing the Safeway/Trader Joe parking lot, but I’ll keep it to myself, take a deep breath, and remember that it is I who is in control of my actions. I’ll keep the “fuck yous!” and kicking of car bumpers under wraps.
11- “Tommy, Can You Hear Me?”
I hear you, I feel you, I see you. I shall meditate to keep this roller coaster of a mind on its rightful path, or I’ll ride it so many times, I’ll puke. I won’t think of cream cheese caressing the outside of an everything bagel. I won’t think about a floppy slice of pizza dripping oil onto my watering tongue. I won’t think about slurping up spaghetti in the way that my mother admonished me for: “Never eat spaghetti on a date, it’s like you don’t know how to use a fork,” she said. I was 16. She was correct. No, no, no. I’ll simply think about unicorns, rainbows, David Boreanaz, and everything but the bagel.
12- Roll out the red carpet! I have seen the light!
Oh wait, that was just daybreak?
Back to step 1: Wash, rinse, repeat…
*Image found @: https://www.visionpt.com.au/studios/camberwell/articles/nutrition/nutrition-made-simple-carbohydrates
4 Fabulous Christmas Cocktails are super delish for what I consider to be the BEST time of the year! My past has loads of murky, depressed, and anxiety ridden memories, however, Christmas time has some of my most favorite memories! It stripped all of those feelings away – even if just for a day or a week. Those memories plus – middle school, and music throughout my K-12 years. The fondest of times past I would say. 😉
I’m gonna keep this post short, as I have little time today. My favorite memory with one of these drinks is from the post below: Warm & Delicious Spiked Choco-Coffee & People Who Sleep at IKEA. My best friend from my China days (I lived there for 5 years and moved back to the US 2 years ago) and I used to make these cocktails throughout the xmas season, go on a short bus ride to IKEA, these drinks in hand (double sized of course), camera in hand, and just walk around the store watching people sleep on the showcased beds… as in, actually sleeping… like for real. We would get sauced, take pics, buy things we didn’t need b/c that cocktail is strooong, and then hop back on the bus home. Check out a pic of my lady pretending to sleep with the choco-coffee in hand. Alana, if you’re reading this, I miss your fabulous face! 😉 On that note, enjoy the feeling of rosy cheeks and life getting lighter. Hehe. -FGG
PS- Click on the name of the drink below to take you directly to the link.
PPS- The song below is my ultimate favorite Christmas song by the fucking incredible Pentatonix!
Creamy Cheesy Pasta (Vegan) is a go-to in my household. My kid thinks it’s mac n’ cheese so he scarfs it down AND I trick him into eating veggies. Score!!! For me, I love it because it’s incredibly easy, delicious, and healthy. I get loads of nutrients all at once. Lastly, I can make a huge pot and have lunches for me and the wee man for days. Another score for sure! Especially with my insane schedule and life. Time is incredibly valuable!
This is another recipe I made when I was sick. Honestly, I can’t even sit when I’m on my death bed. I feel like if I truly want to shift gears from teaching (I’m a music teacher) to branding myself via this blog, my books, and my upcoming podcast and vlog, I can’t EVER take a break! However, I fuckin’ love it. 😉
I thought I’d share the journey of my weight loss since I spoke about that in the last food post. Down another 3 in a week! Honestly, I tried to cut carbs out completely for a few weeks but it was hard af. Now, I’m limiting them. I don’t mind having one meal a day in carbs. That, I can handle. In a dish like this where the sauce is incredibly healthy, I feel even less guilty. I just re-tweaked my meds and the insatiable appetite did not come back. Fucking phew! How someone gains 60 lbs in 14 months is totally, completely, bat shit crazy, kinda fucked bs. At this point, since the 14 lbs fell off in 6 weeks and I’m still going down, I’m hoping that I’ll have a svelte bod by June. 😉 I miss my bikinis, cute dresses & jeans etc. We need a reunion – ASAP! The way I’m doing it outside of the med switch (albeit the most important part for sure) is by cutting some carbs, cutting some booze, going to sleep earlier, and getting back on the workout train since I just quit my tap dance class. I’m so fucking eager to be myself again, that moving toward that goal quickly is all of the motivation I need. Could I be doing more? Fuck yeah, but this is what’s working for me. It’s what I can give right now. The last thing I’ll say is this, don’t overdo it so you get tired and quit. It’s SO easy to quit. Start small and add on more workouts, dieting etc as you go so you stay in the groove. Gotta be in it to win it, right?! 😉
Happy Monday! -FGG
Here’s a great tune to liven up your Monday blues. 😉
Ingredients-
1/2 C raw cashews – soaked overnight from the day prior – drain them now
12 ounces dry elbow macaroni noodles – cooked
1 1/2 C cooked butternut squash – scoop out of the shell
1/2 C carrot – diced & steamed
1 C coconut milk (I use the full fat milk for a better texture)
1/4 C nutritional yeast
2 tsp Dijon mustard (this may sound like a weird ingredient but trust me, it works and is totally necessary!)
1/2 tsp salt (or more to your liking)
1/4 tsp onion powder
1/4 tsp garlic powder
1/4 tsp turmeric
Pepper to taste
Directions-
Combine sweet potato, carrot, and 1/4 – 1/3 cup of water in a high powered blender (I use my Vitamix) and blend until smooth and creamy
In a bowl, add the cashews to the squash & carrot mix, coconut milk, lemon juice, Dijon mustard, salt, nutritional yeast, black pepper (if using), turmeric, garlic powder, and onion powder – blend until completely creamy & smooth
Pour the sauce over the pasta – mix well
Done!
Pair with:
Red – Chianti
White – Riesling
Beer – Pilsner
Dearest Clauses,
It’s that time time of year again! I’m sure you’re busy shinin’ up your sleigh, running reindeer drills & playing reindeer games, plumpin’ up to fit your suit, or if you’re like me, Mrs. Claus, slimmin’ down to fit your dress, and workin’ your elves to the bone (don’t forget labor laws you jolly old man! Santa or not, they’ll be a’ comin’ for you! Celebrities are no longer enjoying backdoor bullshit and shenanigans. You’ll be outed for your ill behavior in no time! Those elves are unionizing and ready to spill)!
I get it. You’re busy bumpkins. I know loads of children are gearing up to write you letters and you’ll soon be bombarded, so I’m hoping you’ll get mine first and therefore grant all of my heart’s desires! I promise, I’ve been a very good girl. 😉 …
1- A 3rd arm- prosthetic- I’ll get tons of shit done in no time! Plus, I can clean, eat, and drink simultaneously. WORD!
2- Botox. ‘Cause let’s be straight here, age is taking its toll
3- David Boreanaz. Well, because, DUH! And also because I had a sex dream about him the other night and feel like I gotta see this thing through – Commitment, right?!
4- A year’s supply of vodka, lemons, and soda water canisters for my Soda Stream. Lord knows mama needs her booze!
5- One hour of sheer and utter motivation in a room with zero distractions, so that I may have the energy and time to workout, and bring my sexy back
6- A full-time masseuse – on call at all times of day and night (in the form of a Swedish God)
7- A full-time therapist – on call at all times of day and night (someone heaven sent)
8- A full-time cleaning crew – on call every morning & night (who all look like David Boreanaz & Brad Pitt)
9- My sanity back – I lost this bitch 4 years ago. I think it’s about time we become reacquainted with one another
10- A magic little pill that turns carbohydrates into calorie burning, so that I may continue my carb-whore ways, and return to a svelte body in a mere matter of weeks
11- Oh yeah, peace on earth, unicorns, cure for AIDS, mermaids, a place for all immigrants, magical Leprechauns with pots of gold, and chickens & goats – because it would be a sea of the cutest stupidity one has ever seen, and my kid would love it
I hope this letter finds you well.
These are gifts no one will sell.
Leave them all underneath my tree,
I just may leave you a tasty brandy.
Up-up and away from house-to-house,
I’ll hold back Ms. Claus so you may open a blouse. 😉
A woman who looks like a 20 Ms. Claus,
you go have your fun,
the reindeer will pause.
No one speaks a word, not even me,
now we’ll all get our gifts and be very merry.
I give you yours, and you give me mine,
that’s the deal, jolly man, let’s handshake with wine.
For nobody knows of your drunken sleigh rides,
and that is my leverage so you keep your disguise.
Naughty not nice you certainly be,
now give me my gifts nicely under my tree!
Love, Heather (the nicest of naughty)
PS- For my Santa letters from other years, click here!
PPS- For your listening pleasure. Felt this was appropriate! 😉
Classic Vegan Chili is one of my all-time favorite winter warmers! Incredibly easy, delicious, and healthy. Packed with flavor for all vegans and non-vegans alike! It’s getting coooold, so my body needs some warmth. I LOVE soups in the fall and winter seasons. Sometimes, I need something super hearty though. For me, that is almost always in the form of some kind of chili. I wanted to keep it simple so I made my Classic Vegan Chili and actually had the foresight to style and shoot this meal. So glad because it looked so very pretty. Yes, food can totally be pretty, sexy, sultry, beautiful, and badass. 😉
When I made this, I was sick with a crazy head cold. Doped up on DayQuil, kava kava tea, and a muscle relaxer. I remember thinking that everything was oh sooooo pretty. LOL. I was convinced it was my most beautiful photo shoot ever. Yeah, well, it’s nice and all, but the best? Fuck no! Gotta love drugs. 😉 Today, I am literally sick with the SAME shit… so, I thought it would be fitting to post this recipe today. Honestly, this school year has been brutal! I’m sure staying up to all hours of the night working on my “branding” – a full time job – after coming home from teaching 10 classes mostly back-to-back, and then mothering, cooking, and cleaning, is starting to take its toll on me. I need more sleep and more exercise. My friend just gave me a 14-day free trial of Beach Body. I’m crazy excited about it! Mostly, because of the insanely large variety of workouts it offers. I love me some Jillian Michael’s but I’ve done that shit SO many times that both my body and my mind need a change. My goal is to be back to my normal weight, where I’d been for years prior to the past 17 months, by this summer. Seventeen months ago is when I began taking a medication that completely changed my appetite, and in turn, my body. It did wonders for me otherwise, but I blinked and gained 60 lbs. TOTALLY INSANE! I switched my meds almost 2 months ago and dropped 14 lbs in 6 weeks. This was a HUGE relief for two reasons: 1- Losing it felt like I could actually get my body back, and 2- I was thrilled to know that it was, in fact, the medicine, and not me! Weight is crazy! It totally changes you, and I don’t mean physically, that’s a given. It fucks with your mentality. My confidence is still okay, thankfully, however, I haven’t felt sexy in about a year. I’ve lost the motivation to do things like paint my nails, wear nice clothing – because as I say, “I refuse to invest in my fatness” – and, if you know me, you’ll know how into fashion I’ve been my entire life – like, since the womb! 😉 It’s been rough. Anyway, there’s now a light at the end of the tunnel.
Back to Classic Vegan Chili. 😉 It’s crazy delish and perfect with a margarita – naturally. Send me pics of your creations! -FGG
PS- Since “oh so pretty” seems to be a theme in this post about both body AND food, as I was writing this, one of my old and all time favorite songs popped into my head. “It’s Oh So Quiet,” by Bjork. So awesome! Enjoy!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZjIFGaN_iVk
Classic Vegan Chili (Serves approximately 8)
Ingredients:
1 Tbl cooking oil
4 cloves of garlic – diced
1 onion – diced
1 jalapeno deseeded – minced
1 1/2 C (12 oz) ground veggie beef crumbles (I like Lightlife’s Smart Ground Meatless Crumbles – I used Original, however, you could use the Mexican flavored one)
2 cans (15 oz) of kidney beans – DO NOT DRAIN
2 C non-chunky tomato sauce (use something you like!)
2 Tbl chili powder
2 tsp cumin
Salt to taste
Optional (for garnish) – avocado, chives, fresh cilantro/oregano
Directions:
Heat the oil in pot over medium-high heat
Add the onion and jalapeño – stir occasionally. About 3-5 minutes,
Add garlic and stir occasionally for one minute more
Add the ground veggie meat, chili powder, cumin and salt – stir until fully mixed
Add the tomato sauce and beans
Turn up the heat until the pot is almost boiling and then reduce the heat, cover, and let simmer
Stir occasionally, about 1 hour
Done!
Pairings:
Wine – Tempranillo
Beer – Pale Ale
Cocktail – Margarita on the rocks
Minty Cacao Espresso Cocktail (Vegan) is warm, boozy, and totally bitchin’! Warm your belly and let your mind go fabulously fuzzy. SO good! Obviously, this is good anytime, however, it makes for an excellent winter/holiday cocktail. I slurped this booziness up when I decorated my tree, hence the pics below. And, duh… because lil’ G is just too cute to not include. Especially since he decided decorating a tree meant him in his astronaut costume. ??? Who the hell knows. I question nothing a 4 year old does or says. Nothing. With G’s adorableness, gingerbread house concoctions, Christmas music classics, and my fuzzy and warm feeling from the Minty Cacao Espresso Cocktail (Vegan), decorating was golden this year. Looked golden, felt golden, tasted golden. 😉
I am SUPER excited because I know one of the gifts I’m getting from “Santa” mom & dad. A long overdue, crazy awesome record player (click here for link). I no longer have my record collection but I’m definitely insanely excited to start collecting again! I’m also pretty sure that I’m getting a piano (finally)! I’m not so sure my household or my neighbors will be appreciating either of these gifts (at all), but I’ll be happier than a pig in shit. Not having a piano sucks all the time, however, it especially blows during Christmas time. I totally miss playing my holiday tunes… SO much! Now that I’ve said this, I have to leave you with one of my all time faves! A true classic. Enjoy the music and of course, the Minty Cacao Espresso Cocktail (Vegan)! -FGG
PS- Again, I’m a day late. I may have to move my Sunday posting to Mondays. We’ll see what happens next week and then I’ll make a decision from there.
Minty Cacao Espresso Cocktail (Vegan) – Makes 1 drink
Ingredients:
1/2 oz creme de cacao
1/2 oz peppermint schnapps
1 1/2 oz vodka (can also use vanilla vodka)
3 oz espresso
5 oz of warm vanilla non-dairy milk (or until you fill your mug) OR you can steam the milk if you have a steamer and use the froth for the top!
Optional: Garnish with soy whipped cream, small marshmallows (Trader Joe’s are vegan!), and a crushed up candy cane to rim the side of the mug and to sprinkle on top
Directions:
Pour in the liquors and stir
Add espresso and top with milk and foam (if steaming)
Done!
“Happy ‘Helladays!'” Is a post that stems from a chapter in my book, “One More Sip of Whine.” This is an AWESOME time of the year for holiday cooking, decorating, and music freaks like myself. However, when you put the family together for the actual holiday? Yeah, welcome to your “helladay!” The magic ends here. (Insert sound of a record player going tits-up). Birthday parties, family BBQ’s, and holidays = family #$%%$#@*&*#&%$*^$%*# If you can relate to this statement, keep reading below. Cheers! Happy “helladays,” friends! 😉
Happy Birthday to Who, Now? And Happy Holidays to No One
I REMEMBER WHEN BIRTHDAYS, Christmas, Easter and all holidays kicked ass. I more than looked forward to parties and stuffing my face with all of the sugar that my mother would’ve otherwise never let me have. I don’t like soda, and no one in my family drinks it. I have my mom to thank for that. However, when we hosted a holiday at my home, as a child, I got high just looking at a bottle of soda (the ONLY time it ever made an appearance in our home). My eyeballs starting spinning in opposite directions, and my body started tweaking out. As I’ve stated earlier, I was a weird kid, therefore I liked my soda flat. After my extended family would leave, I’d hop onto the countertop and ever so slightly loosen the cap so the soda would flatten, not just because I liked it flat, but mostly because I knew no one else would drink it, and then the rest would all be mine. Mwahahahaaa! I’m not sure if I should be proud or disturbed about the inner workings of my childhood brain. I started doing this when I was about seven. The moral of this paragraph is that I freakin’ loved birthdays and all holidays alike.
Now when birthdays come along, I’m decorating the shit outta my house in Thomas the Train décor, and my apartment looks something like Shining Time Station on steroids, with cake imbedded in my carpet and the hired balloon twister pumping out balloons faster than Jenna Jameson can scream, “Fuck me!” “Happy” by Pharrell Williams is blaring so loud it’s almost drowning out the shrieks of children (which is worse?), there are phone calls from lost parents en route whom I can’t hear over the insanity, and just to make my skull start to crack, here come the noisemakers—hands down the dumbest purchase I’ve ever made. I’m starting to think that I might truly be a masochist.
This leads me to think about birthdays in general, the first portion of the word, birth. After all, was it not I who, indeed, birthed that child? Should this day not be all about me? I love me a good party that doesn’t involve little people and caked-up carpets. Then I stopped to think… again. I should really stop doing that (wink). My kid was happier and higher than the downtown druggies on crack. His sugared-up self was jumping in a sea of balloons and noisemakers. So I just drank some more wine and started taking boat loads of pictures to remind myself that, next year, we’re doing the party somewhere other than my home. Oh, and of course, to remind myself of the smiles on my little bugger’s face. Priceless.
Holidays are the new “helladays.”
10 Delicious Vegan Holiday Appetizers is here for your tasting pleasure because: ’tis the season! I’m obsessed with everything holiday. If you follow me regularly, you’ll know that I’m a total decorating whore (Halloween looked like it exploded over every wall and space both inside and outside my house). I. Love. It. Now that I have a kiddo, people assume I do it for him. I, of course, do it for the wee man. However, with or without child, holidays are huge and celebrated in style… decor and all! That being said, I like to go all out with my food, too. How many Christmas’, Hanukkahs’ etc have you spent at your house, a relatives’ or friends’ house, and you eat THE SAME appetizers, drink THE SAME drinks, et cetera, et cetera? I compiled 10 of my favorite entertaining eats for you that will switch it up and impress your guests, vegan, or not.
When I was little, we spent every Christmas eve at my grandma Rugile’s house. There were always bowls of nuts (shelled), and every kind of nut you can imagine. That’s one tradition I keep. Weird that I keep it though, as one year, I cracked a walnut and the shell flew into my eye and scratched my cornea. I spent a large part of xmas eve in the ER. There was a silver lining, my mom let me stop by my friend and neighbor’s house on the way home, and then allowed me to stay up late, pirate patch and all (old school days), to watch the claymation version of “Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer” (still the only version me and the little dude watch). Imagine having that kind of resilience as an adult?! Fuck that! I’m a total whining a-hole when I’m sick or injured now! No “Rudolph,” visit to a friend’s house, or late night TV would have me not giving a shit. I’d be whining on the couch with a bottle of wine. New adult formula: whine & wine, a necessary combo for adult ailments. Oh how things change. I also can’t run a 6 minute mile anymore, do a pull-up, or come even remotely close to being that individual I was as a kid… like most of us. Though, I’m feeling incredibly inspired as of late to be in the best shape of my life by 40. Dangling carrot and all that jazz. 😉 I digress, as always. If you try any of these appetizers, please leave a pic and a comment! I want to see what you did with yours! Happy holidays, everyone! -FGG
PS- This post is a day late, like Sunday’s post! It’s been a cah-raaaazzzyy week! We’ll be back on track next week for sure. 🙂 Look for our ‘gab’ post tomorrow!
PPS- If ever there was an epic party song, the tune below, La Fiesta (dual piano Chick Corea & Herbie Hancock – saw him perform last year!), is most definitely it! This video is part 1, and then part 2 will play immediately after for the full tune. My favorite version!
PPPS- CLICK ON THE RECIPE BELOW TO BRING YOU DIRECTLY TO THE LINK
-use vegan parm instead – I LOVE “Go Veggie!” Their vegan parm is the best!
-use vegan mayo (I HIGHLY recommend Vegenaise) instead of greek yogurt
-MAKE THESE AS SLIDERS!!! Take the cheese out entirely – no need! If you’d like, you can use shredded vegan cheese. I would use Field Roast’s Chao pepperjack slices – SO good! – if I opted to use ‘cheese.’
Hey everyone! First off, we missed our Sunday food post yesterday because our 3rd podcast (One More Sip of Whine) was being recorded and took far longer than anticipated! Was SO much fun, as always, and this means that once the editing process is done, we go live! Can’t freakin’ wait! What a crazy journey it has been from self-publishing 3 books (available on Amazon), weekly blogging (recipe development, food photography, editing) learning about podcasting, and interviewing! Was incredibly nerve wracking at first. Totally worth every fear, every effort – no doubt! Our YouTube Channel is coming soon, too! Will be live in January, 2019. So much time, so much hard work, and the most fun we’ve ever had! And as always, a HUGE shout-out to Gary Vaynerchuk for giving us SO much inspiration via his books, “Crush It!,” and “Crushing It!” If you are an entrepreneur and have no idea who Gary V. is or have never heard of these books, run to your nearest book store or hop on Amazon asap – life changing!
Veggie Miso Ramen Soup (Vegan) took me a mere 10 minutes to concoct. I LOVE ramen soup but I have a hard time finding vegetarian/vegan ramens, and often the ones that I do find are bland as fuck. No flavor. To me, food is all about flavor, all the time, and lots of it. My love for food and cooking most definitely did not come from a love of bland food. What a waste of calories! I mean, if I’m gonna eat, it better be freakin’ good & worth it, right?!
We received this amazing coconut bowl as a gift from @cocobowlsco (insta). One, thank you SO much for this! It’s literally the perfect weight, size, and shaped bowl for the perfect serving size, at least for me. Plus, reduce, reuse, recycle! FGG is crazy about their ‘waste not’ philosophy so this was truly the perfect gift for us! Two, how freakin’ cute is it? C’mon… 😉 Anyway, we wanted to use the bowl for our next post, had been craving ramen since Thanksgiving (and pizza… why? No idea), so this Veggie Miso Ramen Soup (Vegan) was destined to be! Sip, slurp, repeat. A beautiful hot mess. 😉 Noodles have never been so sultry. -FGG
*This tune has been on my mind since last week. An old friend sent me a video of the inside of our old hangout. The dive bar where we had spent an incredible amount of time. I always played this on the juke box the many times I was there. It had burned down a year or two ago and I had no idea they were resurrecting it until I had a video of the inside, looking EXACTLY the same, in my text messages. It was like a piece of history had just been unearthed! Gunthers, or Club G, as we often called it, was the haunt of haunts back in the day. I can already taste my next shitty shot of tequila the next time I’m back in Northport, NY. Cheeeerrrss to Club G, old friends, and fucking fabulous memories!
Veggie Miso Ramen Soup (Vegan) (Serves 2) (10 minutes)
Ingredients-
For the broth-
2 small packages (about 8 oz or 225 grams total) of dried ramen noodles
4 C miso broth (vegetarian)
1/2 C mushroom broth
3 Tbl of dried seaweed cut into small triangles
2 Tbl finely diced chives
1 tsp garlic powder
1 1/2 tsp onion powder
2 tsp ginger powder
Place all ingredients in a pot, bring to a boil, add noodles, cook for about 2 minutes or until done, then simmer. Do this while you are preparing the ingredients below.
Ingredients-
For the veggies & tofu-
1/2 C sliced mushrooms (I used cremini)
1/2 C small broccoli florets
1/2 C haricot vert (thin green beans) cut in half
1/2 C mixed yellow & red bell peppers – diced
1/2 C diced teriyaki baked tofu
3 garlic diced garlic cloves
2 Tbl soy sauce
2 tsp sesame oil
Sesame seeds for garnish (optional)
*Heat pan with sesame oil and soy sauce on medium. Once hot, add garlic and stir on and off for one minute
Toss in all other ingredients and cook for about 5 minutes
Toss all ingredients from pan into the broth and noodles – stir
Done!
Post-Thanksgiving Formula for Success! I can hardly believe that I am writing this because I’m in a food coma that seemed to roll right over into today, Black Friday. Why? Well, it could start with the fact that I literally woke up at 11, went downstairs, and immediately made a ‘ginormous’ bowl of left overs, and then promptly shoveled them down my throat… cartoon-machine-mouth style. The best part? Greyson (my lil’ dude) totally stayed in my bed with me and woke up late, too. He was way on board with left over brunch as well. We stayed up crazy late last night watching Home Alone, and, oh yeah, eating left overs! To be fair, we ate our T-day dinner at 3 so by 9, we were hungry, or at least pretending to be. 😉
I’m surviving this day by eating, eating, drinking, eating, drinking, eating, eating, resting, drinking, eating, tv-ing, drinking, drinking, drinking. That’s the formula to success, friends. Also, I plan on doing this all from the comfort of my couch, in my pajamas, with my blanket, and a consistent flow of coffee to make sure I am awake to stick to ‘said’ formula. I implore you, yes you, those who have a spouse or partner encouraging them to motivate out into the world, to ever-so-nicely tell them to “fucking shove it.” Tell them that you have a plan that involves reheating leftovers and throwing them all into one bowl, tossing them around in some sexy gravy, topped with a nice glass of red, or a hoppy IPA, and that will be the closest thing to physical activity you’ll be doing… soooo, yeah, that’ll be the most orgasmic happening of the day… soooo, yup! Forget sexy time, too. You’ll work those carbs off over the weekend. In recovery. Yesterday, we gave ‘thanks.’ We were grateful and selfless. Today, we stay selfish. Gotta keep those scales balanced! Am I right?!
For those of you who are going to brave the outside world for a good sale, I applaud you. Mostly because the only thing that is worth getting off the couch for happens to be a new TV, wardrobe, cookware etc. I’m a sucker for a sale and a mall any day, anytime. Just ask my best friend, Sureya. We used to live at the Walt Whitman mall. Smoke then shop. That was our weekly formula. It was great. Just fucking great. Ahhh… youth, money, being fit, youth, money, being fit… that cycle was just swell. However, though I applaud you, I implore you to stay home and shop from the very keys I am typing on now. Black Friday is online, friends! You can follow the post-Thanksgiving day formula AND include shopping without ever leaving the confines of your home… or shit, your couch!
Life is crazy. We work hard. We work more than we live. We feel guilty for being lazy. So today, this one day of the year, I officially shall call, “Day of the Almost Dead.” A day where we do so very little, are so completely lazy, that we seem as dormant as a doorknob, a knock a away from lifelessness, a day of sheer and utter laziness! Join me fellow Americans on this lazy day! Let us eat, drink, and be merry in our pjs, on our couch, and in our minds! Cheers to those brave enough to follow our flow. Camaraderie!
Love,
FGG
*Boyslife.org
*Boyslife.org
Thanksgiving Trivia & Ramblings is brought to you by the crazy cats at FGG. 😉
I remember the second Thanksgiving I celebrated in Beijing. I had taken the Wednesday off from work so that I could prepare food and drinks for approximately 20-25 people. It was fucking nuts! I started at about 9AM Wednesday morning, and went straight through until about 11PM – solo. And what’s even more nuts, is that I totally loved every second of it! I had the apartment to myself, I drank wine, listened to music, and got my daily dose of ‘therapy’ in – hardcore. Cooking = therapy. Hands down. I wasn’t even thinking about the fact that almost everyone who was attending my party had never celebrated Thanksgiving. There were about 3 Americans, a few Canadians (who celebrate their own Thanksgiving about one month prior to ours), and a bunch of Brits, Australians, and some other randoms. Mind you, at the time, I was vegetarian (since I was 8); now vegan. Therefore, everyone chowed down sans Turkey. I made my stepdad’s awesome ‘meatloaf,’ pumpkin mac n’ cheese, au gratin potatoes, mashed potatoes, mushroom gravy (oh how I miss the variety and cheapness of shrooms in China), stuffing (homemade), cranberry sauce (homemade), roasted maple veggies (brussel sprouts, carrots etc), and my mothers fall salad – mesclun greens, candied pecans, blue cheese, shredded carrot, sliced red grapes, and diced apples topped with a homemade honey dijon dressing. SO GOOD! For drinks we had mulled wine, beer, and wine. I decorated the apartment with laminated pictures of funny Thanksgiving facts/images, and we had a Thanksgiving game (I remember making it but I don’t remember what it was). It was one of my best parties that I threw whilst in BJ. In these reflective moments, I actually do miss it! In fact, it was probably my best Thanksgiving ever. Sorry fam! 😉 And, my foreign friends fucking loved the shit out if it! Happy T-day, everyone! For a vegan Thanksgiving menu, click here:
-FGG
THANKSGIVING TRIVIA
1- What is the real reason people get so tired after eating on Thanksgiving?
2- Who thought the turkey should be America’s representative bird?
3- Which president wouldn’t declare Thanksgiving a holiday due to his strong belief between separation of church and state?
4- What was the name of the ship that the religious separatists set sail on from Plymouth?
5- Which US state consumes the most turkey on Thanksgiving?
6- Which turkey actually ‘gobbles:’ Male or female?
7- What is the name of the most famous Native American to have helped the Pilgrims?
8- What year was the first Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade?
9- What does the US president do every year for Thanksgiving?
10- Where were the pilgrims meant to land?
Click on ‘more’ for the answers!
5 Easy Cheesy Vegan & Vegetarian Quesadillas! Are just what the title says. Crazy healthy Mexican inspired grub for the win! If you follow my blog, you’ll know that quesadillas are literally the perfect food for me. They’re ‘carbed’ up and cheesy. My two most favorite food things in the world. A dimple of cellulite? An additional pound? I wish I gave a shit! Carbs are my addiction. Maybe I replaced my pack-a-day Camel habit many moons ago with a little too much carbohydrate lovin’. Still, ‘stogs’ are a far worser fate than carbs. So, I win! 😉
You can make any of these quesadillas vegetarian or vegan. Three of the recipes are from my vegetarian days of the vegetarian blog, and two are from my now vegan days and current vegan bloggin’. I have a quesadilla maker at home, which inspires me to put all kinds of crazy shit in between two tortillas. I used to make breakfast quesadillas with scrambled eggs, brie cheese, bruschetta, and fresh herbs. They’d come out of the quesadilla maker in perfectly puffed, shaped, and sealed triangles. Biting into one, in all of its creamy glory, was almost orgasmic. Fucking delicious. Can you tell I miss cheese? Just a little? … 😉 However, I don’t always use the quesadilla maker, I often use the pan. Depends on what I am putting inside the tortillas and how I want the outside cooked. Either way, these 5 Easy Cheesy Vegan & Vegetarian Quesadillas! Are the bomb. They’ll leave you wanting more – no doubt. Enjoy the grub! -FGG
A fitting song for this post… 😉
CLICK ON THE RECIPE TITLE TO BRING YOU DIRECTLY TO THE RECIPE:
The Most Bitchin’ Breakfast Potatoes Ever! Was my b-fast whim that ended up to be the beeeessst breakfast potatoes I’ve ever made. I had an onion, red potatoes, green pepper, and avocado from my Imperfect Produce delivery, and a hot banana pepper from my friend’s (my Wednesdays & wine friend – the good kinda friend) garden. Looking at what I had, inspired what I made. As usual, waste not, friends. Imperfect Produce is a prime example of that as well.
Breakfast is my favorite meal of the day on weekends because I actually have time to create badass and delicious concoctions that I otherwise never have time for. Waking up at 6 AM and in the dark totally sucks! I prep everything from clothes, jewelry, coffee, lunches etc the night before, so I have to do as little as humanly possibly in the morning. It was sunny this morning, G-dog was loving playing solo, I had some good tunes rockin’ (link below), and was pleased to zone out in my kitchen.
The one thing that I am almost always disappointed in when I order them in a restaurant are breakfast potatoes and hash browns. They are totally lacking in flavor. Why? I dunno. They’re the easiest thing ever to make and shit; garlic, onions, salt… hello?! The right amount of those alone should make some dope fucking grub! All of my favorite breakfast joints in Portland even lack good potatoes (if you can prove me wrong, please do – let me know in the comment section). The ultimate breakfast bummer. That being said, these bitchin’ breakfast potatoes and most definitely not lacking in the flavor department. The one thing that makes up for the shitty potatoes at my fave restaurants (besides the awesome meal – sans potatoes) is the company, local coffee, and of course, the variety of mimosas I happily consume. I used to live with my friend Marci. We’d wake up on the weekends, shout to one another from room-to-room “Gravy?” (an amazing breakfast hub on Mississippi St in Portland, OR – the BEST tofu scrambles ever!), and the other would always reply “YUP!” I’m not even sure if we brushed our teeth before we were out the door. If I wasn’t at Gravy with Marci, I was calling April to meet me at Vita Cafe. My ultimate vegan breakfast go-to (try their Tofurkey Florentine – I’m fucking drooling just writing about it). Either place, loads of food, loads of mimosas, and some serious loose lips rehashing or telling the tales of complete and utter debauchery from the night before. We (okay, mostly me) were always up to some shady, stupid, or incredibly crazy shit. Life was great! 😉 To quote myself from my book, “One More Sip of Whine:”
Friday ‘gab’ time! This week, a letter to “Alexa”
Dear Alexa, Are You My Mother?
Dear, dear, Alexa… I’ve been thinking. You’re totally trying to ingratiate yourself into my home and I think it’s about time you start carrying your weight as a member of this household. Not to sound ungrateful, as I do love using your timer for Grey’s timeouts and my cooking, your ability to tell me the time and weather anywhere in the world (okay, for Portland, but still), and your random trivia that is either the easiest question ever or an Einstein related affair (you could really work on that btw), buuuut I think you could help me out in the discipline department. I mean, shit! I’m always the bad guy! I have a kid and a ‘huschild’, I could use a little fucking help around here! You’re a robot! You are far more polished, precise, and all knowing than my measly self! So c’mon! Step it up, girl!
When you hear the shouts and shrieks of a whiny little boy, how about a little scare tactic? “YOU BOOYYY!” (please speak this in a very maniacal, deep, and disturbing voice). “SIT DOWN AND ZIP IT NOW! NO ONE WANTS TO HEAR THIS CRAP!” I mean, he won’t even know where it’s coming from! But, shit! That’ll shut-him-the-fuck right up!
If the little man cries, can you not sooth him with a soft tune from your extensive music library? Can you not tell him words of comfort in the most soothing of female voices? If he won’t go to bed, can you not provide him a lullaby that will make him doze into a cloud of dreams? If he needs a friend, can you not put on some dance music or play a game with him? Two moms have got to be better than one! Should you do your job properly, he should say “are you my mother?” And you, in your lovingly, dreamingly, sweet, sweet angelic voice, shall reply, “yes, son, yes.” Frankly, woman, I feel like you’ve got the skills, the gumption to help a sister out!
Now that I’ve said my piece, I hope you’ll find my words well and start upping your fucking game.
15 Vegetarian Recipes for Toddlers, are crazy healthy, easy, and most importantly, delicious. Flavor is everything to my kid. If it tastes good, he’ll eat it. These are 15 vegetarian and vegan recipes that toddlers and kids will love!
My mom got lucky with me in the fact that I’d eat anything. Even though I was her only vegetarian at the time (began that journey when I was 8), I was a human garbage disposal for everything else (was? … is – 😉 ). And, she very rarely cooked meat… Fast forwarding: My kid went from eating all veggies to eating none. This was incredibly depressing for me, as veggies are my ultimate fave! Well, next to my carb-o-holic, or more accurately, total carb whore, self. Now, I have to puree them in everything, and bribe him through chaotic fucking meltdowns to eat the teeeeeeniest piece of a veggie because I’m not giving up on that shit. I’m sick of eating pureed everything or having to make two separate meals. Fuck that.
I’ve loved food from the moment I took my first bite, or so I assume. Teaching your kiddo that healthy food is tasty and will be their fuel for their body is soooo important! Imagine learning to play the piano at 30? Learning to ski, surf, or swim at 30? Possible? Totally. Difficult and arduous? Hell yes! When we learn how to do things when we are young, our path to ability and understanding is ridiculously easier. Teach your wee one/s to cook! Being in the kitchen together can be crazy fun! My little dude has an apron (though he’s usually naked – haha), a chef’s hat, and his own little kitchen tools. He loves helping me make his food. It’s rewarding as an adult, so imagine how rewarding it is when you’re a kid! Not to mention, the amazing bonding time with your kiddo. If you make it fun, it’s fun. If you make food good, it’s good. Simple as that. Vegetarian or vegan shouldn’t mean bland or difficult. Hopefully, these recipes will plant the seed to give you creative ideas of your own. If so, please share! Enjoy! -FGG
PS- Click the name of the recipe to bring you directly to the link! Recipes listed in the order of the pictures (first being the featured pic – Quinoa Pancakes)
PPS- Enjoy the tune! 😉
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Vegan Thanksgiving Recipes & Menu is your go-to guide for faux T-day this November. All things delicious, all things festive, and all things healthy. Say whaaa?! I was encouraged to serve vegetarian and meat last year for T-day. I said, “fuck that!” That is demeaning to both myself and my kitchen. Why would my vegan grub taste any different than my vegetarian grub? So, naturally, being who I am, I did what I wanted. After all, it was me, and only me, who was cooking for 8 people. I’m not complaining, I love doing it solo, just don’t tell me what to do in my kitchen. Now, hope you’re not thinking I’m a cruel, control-freak kinda asshole, I assure you, I’m not. I am speaking in defense of food. If you make it well, it tastes good. Simple as that. A lesson to be taught to many who think that no food can be a meal without meat or cheese. That’s nuts-o. It’s 2018. I think by now, we should all be aware that plant-based food is DOPE! Just like any food! If you cook chicken or pasta without flavoring, it sucks. It’s alllll about flavor. I had 2 meat eaters, a gluten free-er, 5 vegetarians and moi last Thanksgiving. The result? Everyone loved the food! And I mean alllll of the food. I made everything GF as well. For me, this holiday is about eating amazing food, drinking copious amounts of delicious wine, shoveling some pie in your overflowing and about-to-burst belly, unbuttoning your pants, or losing the tights, and then enjoying good company with some good games. Last year, we somehow made it to the dart board. I have NO idea how anyone was standing long enough to make that happen. It was awesome.
Below are recipes for: soups, salad, appetizers, entrees, and an amazing cocktail. Enjoy the grub and please leave a comment if you make these, or even one of these recipes, and let us know what your thoughts are! -FGG
Click on recipe to bring you directly to the link!
PS- Sorry for the day-late post! It was my kiddo’s bday party (HUGE) on Saturday, and his actual bday on Sunday. He got all of me. No time for anything or anyone else. My heart, G-man. 😉
PPS- The featured image is by: RUNNING ON REAL FOOD
PPPS- I remember seeing this when it aired. I LOVED Adam Sandler. Cheers to the past! 😉
The BEST Pumpkin Seeds Ever! Are Italian Style and crazy delish. As with all pumpkin seeds, the recipe couldn’t be any easier. I wanted to post this yesterday, as per my Sunday & Wednesday food posts, however, my little man with his Halloween fun came first – hands down. We were by our lonesome yesterday, his baba was away for business, so I made it extra special. We started our day with pumpkin pancakes in shapes of all things Halloween, first costume of the day & trick-or-treating and face painting at his school, out to dinner at his favorite restaurant, costume change #2 and out in the ‘hood, then finished it up by completing our Halloween movie from the night before. I was fucking SPENT this morning! It was all worth it. 😉 Below, I’ve added pics of our day because shit, G is just too damn cute. Especially in costume!
I am not including an exact recipe here. Honestly, it’s just too easy. Combine the ingredients below to your liking and voila – done! Enjoy the Italian style pumpkin seeds that will no doubt become an annual Halloween event. -FGG
The BEST Pumpkin Seeds Ever!
Ingredients:
Olive oil
Dried oregano,
Salt (I prefer Himalayan)
Vegan Parmesan or regular for you non-vegans! (I use Follow Your Heart’s Vegan Parm – I think it’s by far the best out there that I’ve tried thus far)
Directions:
Be sure you seeds are rinsed and dried, toss your desired amount of all ingredients together in a bowl with pumpkin seeds, bake at 300f for approximately 30-40 minutes (pending upon how well done you’d like them)
Done!
Fried Green Tomatoes with Special Sauce (vegan)! Are SOOO freakin’ good that I almost ate the entire plate myself. I then remembered how desperately I love my clothes in my closet, how much they missed seeing the sun, and promptly stopped myself. 😉 A lesson in self-control! I often lose battles involving such a crazy concept as ‘control.’ I suppose that’s why I have 37 years of batshit crazy stories that sound as if they belonged to one who has at least 50 years behind them. Hang with me and I’ll keep things interesting! 😉 Hopefully, you’ll join me on my journey into podcasting (airing next month) for some real, low-down, Heather shit.
Anyway, I love fried green tomatoes. I go to my friend Heather’s house on Wednesdays after work for a glass of wine (and sanity) before I go home. Perfect break in the middle of the week. She gave me these gorgeous green tomatoes and I have been itchin’ to cook them up. I only grew sun cherry and marzano tomatoes this year. I wanted to make a sauce that would be the perfect dipping sauce for these bad boys. And, shit! It was soooo good! You could use this special sauce as a dip for an incredible amount of appetizers. These would be a crowd pleaser at a party for sure. It’ll be making an appearance in many more of my posts – no doubt.
For those of you who get this, you rock!: “TOWANDA!” On that note, ladies, have a badass kinda day. 😉 -FGG
Fried Green Tomatoes with Special Sauce (vegan)!
Ingredients for tomatoes:
3 medium-large sized green tomatoes – sliced into 1/3 inch circles
1/2 C non-dairy & unsweetened milk (I used soy)
1/2 C flour (I used whole wheat)
1/2 C vegan panko (or other vegan breadcrumbs)
1 Tbl tapioca flour (starch)
1 tsp salt
1/2 tsp pepper
Vegetable oil for frying
Ingredients for special sauce:
3 Tbl vegan mayo (personally, I think Vegenaise is far superior to any other I’ve tried)
1 medium avocado
1 Tbl buffalo sauce
1/4 tsp garlic powder
1 tsp nutritional yeast (optional)
Salt to taste
Cooking tomatoes:
Put non-dairy milk in a small bowl (see pic) & put all dry ingredients in another small bowl and mix
Dip tomato in milk, covering both sides, and then dip and fully coat tomato slice in dry mix (repeat with all tomatoes)
In a large frying pan, pour vegetable oil to a depth of approximately 1/4 inch
Gently place the tomatoes in the pan on high
Fry each side for approximately 2 minutes, or until golden brown
Remove from pan and place on paper towels
Done!
Special Sauce:
Place all ingredients in a small bowl and smash in avocado with a fork
Stir until almost smooth
Done!
Beer & Wine Pairings:
Beer – Mildly bitter pale ales or a hoppy IPA
Wine – A dry sparkling rosé, sauvignon blanc, pinot grigio
7 Amazing Vegan Tofu Breakfast Recipes! Is a post that is long past due. There is no breakfast that I love more on a Sunday morning (or any morning for that matter) than a tofu scramble, or other delicious tofu concoctions. It all depends on what’s in the fridge. FGG’s mantra: “Like the mind, food is a terrible thing to waste.” Use what you’ve got before you buy new grub, or you could go back in time to the 80’s and use every mom’s most favorite ‘eat your food’ excuse: “THERE ARE STARVING CHILDREN IN AFRICA!” It made zero impact after the billionth time my mother bellowed it out of her mouth. My sister, Danella, ever clever, used to place the teeniest bits of food into the teeniest portion of a napkin and hide it under the rim of her plate. She did this until her plate was mostly fully surrounded by an army of our mother’s nightly staple of peas and zucchini. When the rents would get up to clear their plates (my sister was always the last one at the table), she’d run to the bathroom and flush the mush of food. Done & done. Pretty fucking swift thinking for a 7 YO. Now, she’s a lawyer. She left behind her career of stealth ‘criminal’ acts like a bad fucking habit when she turned 10. Then her goal was to be an astronaut (for like, a million years), then to cure Aids in Africa, and now a law firm. Shit, man… when did we take two totally different roads in life?! Honestly, probably since the womb. However, I do love, love, love, writing this blog and my books etc. My upcoming podcast (One More Sip of Whine – motherhood in the raw) will hopefully be another creative outlet for my needy brain. 😉
Okay, back to tofu (said sister above is a veg-head as well). Two of the recipes call for cheese. This was from the early days of my blog when it was vegetarian, not vegan. Simply replace them with vegan cheese. Like all of my original shitty posts and photographs, I refuse to wipe them from this blog. This has been my journey. You can see how FGG has grown, where we came from and where we’re currently at, and that my friends, is pretty dope. Most of us don’t start out awesome, we get there. I take pride in my original blog because it got me to the here and now. Love you all! 😉 -FGG
*CLICK ON THE TITLE OF THE RECIPE TO BRING YOU DIRECTLY TO THE LINK*
PS- I truly believe that your diet is YOUR choice. We are lucky, living in the first world, to even have the option to choose. This song always fuckin’ cracked me up! My brother put it on my road trip CD when I drove cross country from NY to Cali. Thanks for the introduction, brotha. 😉
My Favorite Fall Fashion Trends – 2018! If you follow my blog regularly, you’ll know that autumn is my all-time favorite season. Along with the weather, pumpkin patches, pumpkin spiced lattes etc comes… FASHION! Another one of my loves. As usual, there’s a load of weird and awful (in my humble opinion) shit out there. Amongst all of that shit there are always some gems. Clueless style plaid – say wha?! I full-on wanted to be Alicia Silverstone in Clueless. In the shoe department, I’m not a huge fan of most of the boots in the kitten heel trend, however, I’ve shared a pair that I could totally get down with.
The fall fashion trends that I love & that you see below are: Hoods, Clueless Plaid, Floral, Corduroy, Animal Print, Kitten Heels, Cowgirl Boots, and…drum roll please… FANNY PACKS! Which gets a huge YAAAASSSS! from me.
When I was 6 years old, I remember crying for a pair of these white leather fringed moccasin boots with colorful studded rhinestones all around the ankle. If I can find my picture me wearing them, I’m totally gonna upload it to this post! I came out of the womb loving all things fashion. My closet and my 3 YO kid’s closet are color-coded and organized by style. It’s obsessive and I love it. Since I made the decision to switch my meds last month, I shed 12 lbs in a mere 4 weeks. This means all of the beautiful clothes hanging in my closet that haven’t seen the light of day in 15 months will hopefully be making their grand appearance very soon! I literally walk in my closet and touch my clothes like a total fucking weirdo. LOL. Perhaps it’s a subconscious way of motivating me? 😉 I still have tags on a least 10 items in my closet that I never got to wear because the weight piled on so quickly. Crazy excited to get back into them, buy some of the awesome styles shown below, and feel totally babelicious and sex-i-fied once again. 😉 Enjoy the good tune to listen to when looking at these crazy cool styles! -FGG
Valentino Hood
Lovers + Friends Ellie Mini Dress | $148 REVOLVE
Gwendolyn Floral Jumpsuit, $168 at Anthropologie
M.i.h. Drayson All In One, $385
Floryday Long Sleeve Collar Blazers
Currently: $56.99
Was: $102.00 45% OFF
Sam Edelman Kinzey Booties $140
Steve Madden Corpus, $129.95
Urban Outfitters Studded Belt Bag
$29.00
Unknown (Maybe Kendall?)
8 Awesome Vegan Pasta Dishes! The title says it all. 😉 I’ve collected my top 8 pasta recipes and compiled them all into one post for your ease and delight. They’re packed with flavor and loaded with crazy healthy ingredients. Think like a fatty, but eat like a fit f***. Side note: I feel like that should be a quote on a tee-shirt. Onwards… What’s better than that?! Short answer? Nothing. Food is life! Hence this crazy blog. Food shouldn’t taste like shit to be healthy as shit. Food should taste like delectable dopeness and be healthy as shit! I’ll stop now so as not to subject you to a ‘Heather’ diatribe. You’re welcome. 😉
Ooohhh pasta. Yesterday was National Pasta Day, which inspired today’s post. I f’in’ love pasta more than Bradley Cooper AND Brad Pitt combined. Say wha?! Yeah, I said it. And I meant it. The most challenging thing in the world for me is cutting back on carbs. However, I just have to do it when I’m not working out very much. It’s a fact. A shitty fact, but fuck, my thighs don’t lie. I literally find it more difficult to quit my carboholic ways than I did to quit my pack-a-day smoking habit. 🙁 #addictionisreal LOL. Now, with all of that being said, these 8 Awesome Vegan Pasta Dishes! are a much better alternative to their dairy partners. And remember, there are always zoodles to substitute for the grains! I’m a big fan of my spiralizer for that very reason. And of course, my thighs are its biggest fan. 😉 On that note, mangia! -FGG
PS- Feeling guilty about wanting carbs? Take a note from our musical selection below. Call up your pusherman, have a toke, and I promise, you’ll be chowing down on carbs guilt free. 😉 Similarly, I used to be super poor, go to the mall, swig down 2 well-mannered martinis from the Cheesecake Factory, as I knew this would easily open my wallet up for business, and then shop for clothes – guilt free. Until I came home, and hid them in the trunk of my car so my all-to-astute boyfriend wouldn’t notice that I had new clothes but somehow, couldn’t pay the rent. Oh man… from days of old!
CLICK ON RECIPE TO GO TO LINK!
The Sexiest Blackberry Syrup Ever! is the best thing that happened to my shitty sparkling wine, pancakes, and vanilla ice cream all year. I literally use this stuff in or on anything I possibly can, hence why I make about 4 cups of it at one time – you can’t ever have enough. If there’s a new syrup in town, this babe is the sexiest syrup around.
BLACKBERRY PICKING:
I sometimes go up to the old property I used to live at the first time I lived in OR. Once called and forever known as, the house on the hill. We had 30 acres but were only responsible for 3. It had a barn, a bunk house (with a dilapidated old piano to make it extra fucking cool), an old & unused chicken coop (where my roommate would write like a madman on my grandpa’s old typewriter I had given him – downing cheap beers and lighting the next cigarette with the last… ahhh the good old days ;)), a huge garage where we shot darts daily, played super unsafe drinking games almost nightly (this involved axes, chinese stars, nails, and flying hammers, all whilst pounding AMAZING IPA’s and yes, PBR – our stock for beer pong – ’cause yeah, we had that in there, too), HUGE veggie and flower gardens that thankfully one member of the household could actually be responsible enough to water, an old boat that someone had started to build but never finished (drinking and smoking happened here, and was a viewing point for the horseshoe pit that we built, and the turkey vultures circling above), a homemade forge where my other roommate made some suh-weet stuff, and how the rest of us thought we’d die in a fire one day due to lack of safety (naturally, we didn’t do anything about it), a fire pit where some (hehe) fell asleep in the wee hours of the morn, and woke up to a sunburnt back at 9:00 AM face first in the grass (and only because the painter who was painting the exterior of the house told a roommate, “those 2 girls are gonna fry, wake ’em up,” and then that same dude never missed a chance to comment on her sunburnt back’s “racing stripe” in the creepiest of ways), and of course, the house, that had an old western style piano (compliments of the 2 awesome and crazy hippies next door who frequently rode up drunk on their ride-on mower) where I could rock out on some old Bob Dylan (Keep it with Mine, anyone?), 2 fireplaces, and a ton of crazy cats (pun intended, both the animal and people). Damn! Now that I’ve written all of this, I am, for the very first time, acknowledging how incredibly dope my life was! The crazy days… and they were most definitely cah-raaaaaazzzyyyyy! And shit… I just realized I have SOOO many more insane stories about this house that this could be its own book! Hey! Maybe one day!
Okay, I digress, a lot, however, the property stills exists (as of recently sans house, and is being turned into a park soon – most of it has already turned into a park – hey, at least they didn’t pave paradise!). I go up there to pick blackberries and all kinds of fruits and nuts still. Reminds me of good times and shit. Free, fresh, and organic goods! Hell yeah! I came home with bags, I mean bags of blackberries, stained sneakers, and torn up arms. It was a great day. 😉 I knew I wanted to make blackberry syrup. It wasn’t until I was in the midst of making it that I realized how versatile it could be. All of the photos below will show you a few of the ways I used this sexy deliciousness. Crazy easy, crazy tasty, and crazy quick. Enjoy this babe! 😉
Please leave a comment below and let me know how you use yours! -FGG
For this recipe, nothing but the Led Zeppelin tune that is most fitting for the sexiest of syrups… 😉
The Sexiest Blackberry Syrup Ever! (Makes approximately 4 cups)
Ingredients:
8 cups fresh blackberries
2 1/4 C sugar
1/4 C honey or agave
1 Tbl fresh lemon juice
2 tsp pectin – add a bit more for a syrup that is a bit thicker
Directions:
In a pot, bring the blackberries to a boil over medium to medium high heat.
Reduce the heat and simmer for 20 minutes – should be very soft
Mash the berries
Put the blackberries in a sieve and strain the juice
Scoop out the puree (I save the scooped berries for toppings on ice cream etc)
Put the blackberry juice back into the pot and add the sugar and lemon juice
Boil for approximately 3 minutes
Add the pectin and stir for a minute or two more
Done!
“B is for Bath Time & Brandy,” is a chapter from my book, One More Sip of Whine. I had sent my book to one agent, an incredibly dope and off the charts agent, and as expected, heard nothing. I went too big for sure. I thought, “go big or go home, right?” was a good first step. It was not. I’ve been thinking about sending it out into the world again – actually, I’ve just been too fucking lazy to do it – until I have been obsessing over this book, “Crushing It!” – in which I mentioned in my previous post. I have SO much that I want to do in order to shift my life, my career, in such a totally major way that I may just self-publish this. I’m wanting to focus on all of the other awesome odds and ends that I need to push forward and pursue in a very serious kind of way. If anyone has any thoughts on whether I should self-publish, please feel free to leave me a comment! Also, if you want to read more chapters from this book, click on the tab at the top of the screen that says, “my books.”
“B is for Bath Time & Brandy,” is a funny chapter about the hells of bathing and/or showering your little one in their first two years on this earth. If you’re a momma or dadster, and are reliving these painful memories as you read, I implore you, crack open a lil’ somethin’ – somethin’ to numb the vicious pains of such horrid memories. Cheers, to all the moms and dads suffering with the bath time blues. I hear ya… the struggle feels real. 😉
*image found on Google Images via sillybunt.com
B is for Bath Time & Brandy
I WAS IN NEW YORK VISITING MY MOTHER a little over a year ago, and she was constantly volunteering to give Greyson a bath. I was so baffled by this. Then, when I finally told her she didn’t have to feel obligated to take on this horrible nightly duty, she said, “I love giving the grandkids baths! I’ve always loved bathing babies!” (She’s had 5, yes 5 children by the way.) “Eh-hem, what? Are you some sort of masochist? Have you taken some happy pills today?” I did not say these words verbatim, however, I most certainly was thinking them. Kids are squirmy and slippery, hate to get their heads wet, require about 6 hands to safely and effectively get the job done, and throw water out of the tub, and I don’t know about you, but I feel as though I need some sort of back-y-otomy after this torturous ritual is through. Alas, this is not the job for me. As Greyson got older, I thought maybe popping him in the shower with me would not only be easier, but more time efficient, as well. This newfound idea was as fleeting as a fairy. It went down like this:
Shower #1: I tried to shave my legs. No room. Jumping toddler. Shaving cream missing from my leg. Child licked said shaving cream off of my leg, only to say, “Mmmm…yummy!”
Shower #2:
G: Mommy, you have a penis?
ME: No, Mommy has a vagina. Girls have a vagina, and boys have a penis.
Shower continues. I wash my hair and suddenly scream, shampoo streaming down my face and into my eye. My child has poked me with his finger right into my va-jay-jay while joyously laughing. “VAGINA!”
Shower #3: Greyson thought that jumping up and down, trying to “stomp Mommy,” was fun. This was not fun at all. In fact, it fucking hurt! Also, he decided that helping wash me and eating soap off of his hands was the new shower time fashion… Fuck showers.
Night #4: Back to the hellacious nightly bath time routine. Surely this is better than poking, prodding, and licking me in the shower.
I decided I needed something else, something with the ability to help me relax and let the bath time blues just roll off of my tightened shoulders, something with a bit of a kick, yet with a smile. Something smoother than my baby’s bottom but stronger than his screaming shrieks. Ah-ha! And this was the “ah-ha” moment of the week, of the month, in fact! This is when “B” was not only for bath time, but for brandy. Bath time with brandy… ahhhh… and bath times have never been so very, very sweet.
So, it’s been a while… a long while. I am making a vow right now that I am going to get my shit together and start blogging like I was doing before summer hit. In fact, I’m gonna blog ten times f’in’ harder than that! Why? Well, one, because I LOVE it! Two, because I’m listening to “Crushing It!” by, Gary Vaynerchuk and I am sooo inspired! It literally makes me want to pull my car over mid-drive and start blogging, writing my book, and starting my podcast. I freakin’ heart you hard, Gary. 😉
Okay, back to the title of this post: 15 Awesome Vegan Recipes for the Fall! I have compiled 15 of my favorite autumnal recipes (appetizers, salad, soups, pasta, cocktails etc) from the archives of this blog that make my soul warmer and happier in what should be called, the BEST season of the year. Who doesn’t love fall foliage, the crisp air, apple and pumpkin picking, tractor rides at farms, corn mazes at farms, all things pumpkin spice, all things maple, and of course, some warm food on a cold day?! Obviously, only the soulless! Click on the recipe title to bring you directly to the link. See you all soon… -FGG
PS- My mother had said she was listening to George Winston’s “Autumn” the other day which has inspired the musical selection for this post. Totally reminds me of my childhood!
SOUPS:
Pumpkin Coconut Curry Soup, Creamy Vegan Carrot Sweet Potato Mushroom Soup, Creamy Vegan Broccoli Soup, Lentil Soup with Sautéed Mushrooms
APPETIZERS & SALAD:
Artichoke & Balsamic Parmesan Hummus (replace real parm for vegan parm – GO VEGGIE is my fave), The BEST Vegan Nach Cheese Sauce Ever! (who doesn’t love nachos during game season?!), Sautéed Veggie & Farro Spiralized Zucchini Salad
MEALS:
Vegan Pumpkin Mac n’ Cheese, Vegan Mushroom and Lentil Wellington, Crazy Delicious Veggie Couscous, Spaghetti Squash with Cheesy Marinara, Lentil Sloppy Joe’s (replace shredded cheese with vegan shredded cheese like Daiya’s)
COCKTAILS & DESSERT:
A Maple Bourbon Fling Named Rosemary, Warm & Delicious Spiked Choco-Coffee, 3 Minute/4 Ingredient Hot Chocolate Mini-Mug Cake (Replace Egg with Follow Your Heart Vegan Egg – this stuff is awesome!)
Eggplant Meatballs (Vegan) are truly one of the most delicious faux ‘meatballs’ one can make. I love the flavor, texture, and the fact that they are crazy easy and quick to chef up! This recipe comes from my mother via my Aunt Lisa, or so I think. The original recipe calls for egg and cheese so I’ve made my own vegan version for y’all. Honestly, they taste exactly the same and hold together just as well.
I became a vegetarian when I was 8 years old. I never faltered for even a moment after I had made the decision to go meat-free. Thankfully, my mother rarely cooked meat anyway and was incredibly health-conscious – far beyond where the rest of the world was. I was eating quinoa balls, tofu dishes, going to vegetarian cooking classes at the local health food store, chowing down on eggplant meatballs, etc FAR before anyone had ever heard of the word ‘quinoa’, none-the-less could even pronounce it! I am beyond grateful to have had a parent with this understanding of nutrition and food many moons before the health trends (grains, tofu, non-dairy milks, etc) hit the US.
I shattered both of my wrists when I was eleven. Yup. That sucked. I started my very first day of middle school with two casts and a new set of metal in my mouth. People would walk up to me and say, “So you’re the girl with two broken arms!” To which my drugged up and angry self would reply, “Who else do you think it is?!” It’s amazing that I had friends and wasn’t a freakin’ social pariah. Anyway, my point in sharing this with you is to mention that my doctors were concerned that I wouldn’t heal quickly because I was a vegetarian. My mother argued that I was far healthier than most children. Alas, I healed weeks before they expected. My sisters were quite thankful as well, as I no longer had two hard weapons to bang heavily atop their heads. Okay, so I wasn’t the model older sister. I was more of an asshole. So sue me! I was a pretty crazy kid. I’ve grown, or so they say. 😉
Eggplant Meatballs (Vegan) are a must for your recipe index. Give them a go and send pictures or use my Heyoya to speak your comment instead of writing it! Mangia! Your listening tune for this recipe below:
EGGPLANT MEATBALLS (VEGAN)
Yields: Approximately 15 eggplant balls
Ingredients:
3 Tbl olive oil
3 cloves garlic – chopped
1 large eggplant – peeled & diced
1 Tbl water
1 C seasoned bread crumbs (I used Panko & seasoned with Italian herbs)
1/2 C fresh parsley – loosely chopped
1/2 C grated vegan cheese (I grated Follow Your Heart’s Mozzarella)
Olive oil for pan
Marinara sauce
Your favorite pasta if serving as a meal (I used whole wheat spaghetti for a classic ‘spaghetti and meatballs’ dish)
Instructions:
In a large saucepan heat the oil and add the garlic – stir occasionally for about 1 minute
Add the eggplant and water and then cover
Reduce the heat and then steam until the eggplant is very soft – about 15 minutes
In a mixing bowl, combine the eggplant, bread crumbs, parsley, and cheese
Mix very well and refrigerate for at least 15 minutes
Form the mixture into balls and either:
Fry in oil
Bake at 400f for about 25 minutes on a sprayed baking sheet – turn them after 12 minutes
Done!
Add sauce and pasta for a delicious meal!
Wine pairings:
Red – Montepulciano d’Abruzzo, Chianti, or Sangiovese
