The Resurrection of FGG
This blog post is to announce the resurrection of FGG and why the hell I’ve been gone for so long. It’s been a crazy fucking ride since my last post (Easter!), and a boat load of things have happened to me and my life in this seemingly short, yet incredibly long, period of time.
Why did I stop posting? Well, from May-June, my work life was INSANE. I had 4 separate concerts, a talent show, and was taking classes for my admin program – as “luck” would have it, the most challenging course I have ever taken in my life. On top of that, I was trying to keep up with my blog, newsletters, podcast, and photography. Not to mention, I’m a mom. I see approximately 700 students twice/week and then run home to my four year old, Greyson – the cutest thang since the Care Bears. 😉 For a week in early May, my body felt super out of whack. It felt like it was preparing for a heart attack. For real. Then, one day, after work, I was playing corn hole with my lil’ Care Bear, and suddenly felt numb. I felt tingling all over my body, was pale white, and about to faint. I sat down and told my husband at the time (yup, that story is coming, so just stay tuned) that I was having a heart attack. After an ER trip, an EKG that “was not pristine,” to quote my amazing doctor, and complete numbness on the left side of my body, shoulder to toe, a slew of intense tests, and my husband yelling at me in the room (yeah, he was always good at doing that when I was sick or in the hospital), and the possibility of a small stroke, it turned out to be a panic attack. Now, if you’ve never experienced one you simply cannot relate, you just can’t. I now know what a heart attack would feel like – for real. My body manifests stress in a craaazzzzy way. It’s very physical for me. When I went to see my doc a few days later for a follow-up, she asked me about my life. When I told her my day-to-day, week-to-week, she seemed genuinely stunned. She then asked me if I could “stop doing some of those many things that I do.” I was fucking agast! I was like, “I was just blogging on my computer whilst waiting for this appointment!” However, she was right. Something had to give. So, the blog, photography, newsletters, and podcast had the brakes put on. The clincher was social media. I went full on MIA. I have to say that it actually felt fucking great. Today will be my first day back on social media since around the time of my last blog post.
I thought that all of that shit, all of that shedding of self, had helped, but only a bit. I was still frazzled and began experiencing anxiety, my old foe, 7 days a week. WTF?! I shed that shit 7 years ago! It was the fucking tumor that I finally cut out after suffering my entire life from it! My meds weren’t even carrying the slack at this point. So, I survived the rest of the school year (I’m a music teacher) and reevaluated my life. My sister, her 3 YO, and her mastiff were living in my house, as she was getting a well-needed divorce. This is when I, too, realized that I was next in line for a well-needed divorce. Things between my ex and I had been “off” since before Greyson was born when we were still living in China. He deserves someone far more suited to his personality, his political beliefs, and his hobbies. That person is not me. And, I deserve the same.
Fast forwarding, I went away for ten days in the beginning of the summer, got back, got an apartment, moved out days later, and now am in the midst of a shitty divorce. Writing and blogging are two fantastic outlets for me. So, I figured, it’s time to hop back on the bandwagon. I’ve adjusted my work schedule a bit so it’s a tad more conducive to my sanity, I have a two-bedroom apartment to tend to as opposed to a gigantic house and garden, though I miss my garden daily, I have started meditating again and gone back to the gym, so, I hope that I am able to keep up my blogging etc. I’ve casually, and I mean very casually, started writing another book (check out my link above in “My books!”), this time about my life. It’s been a WILD ride since I’ve been born. I’m calling it, “F is for F**k.” I thought my next book would be a humorous tale about motherhood again, but alas, all of these ideas for my bio have been flooding my brain.
To end this post, I won’t promise I’m totally back because I have to see how this fits into my new life, but I hope to be posting weekly with recipes and lots of Heather “gab.” Cheers to a new and fresh start!
Some pics of my summer:
